126 Days to Figure it Out.

Why are some decisions so hard to make? There are times I feel like I could sit forever and never actually be able to come up with an answer. It's those things you try to put into the back of your head, but emerge every peaceful second you're able to grasp. I got accepted in Central Michigan University, the only college I actually applied to, with a three year scholarship.

Now comes the real question: what do I want to be when I grow up?

The worst possible question that does nothing but tease every fragment of your being until you can no longer take it. I remember that question being asked to me over a hundred times; each answer always seemed to be different. I don't know what I want to be. I can now honestly say it's beginning to eat me up inside. I'm afraid to end, and I'm afraid to begin.

What’s this feeling that lies in my heart?
It rips and tears; trying to pull me apart.
I want peace, and I want rest,
So leave me be for I know what’s best.

Trying to follow what others say,
Even though I need to find my own way.
Where am I to go after this?
A heavy question that causes my distress.

Close my eyes and hold my head up high,
Take a deep breath and see passed the lie.
I know there is a path that leads me there,
But it remains hidden from my ever pleading stare.