Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.... is hanging in our garage...

Christmas is coming to an end folks. The night is almost over, and once again real life sets in.

Christmas was awesome this year. We didn't have many gifts under the tree, but I was fine with that. I love my family dearly, and could have crushed my parents in a hug for even getting presents since things are so tight right now. I'm going to get them a few nice things they want later when I get the money.

After practically dragging my brother out of bed at 10:30, we opened presents. I got a riding vest, a cute shirt, tank tops, gloves/scarf/hat, and a Visa gift card. Eric got a muffler, lol that was really funny. We were joking and laughing all morning about how all of our money went into buying dirt to fill up the pool. Dad was practically in tears because he was laughing so hard. We were also joking about how Santa hates us because we have Rudolph hanging in our garage by his legs (Leo shot him, took him to get processed and he was frozen. So he is "thawing" in our garage. Yes.... it is very gross).

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.... is hanging in our garage...

Then it was time for GRANDMAS HOUSE! So, I got very pretty, I even straightened my hair, because I decided not to be lazy and just put it up. Let me just tell you... I looked HOT! (Insert peer laughter here). I stuffed my face with grams fabulous food, then we ordered Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the new one, and watched it. I just need to say that Johnny Depp is still horrifyingly attractive with a pansy hair cut and ugly purple clothes. Don't judge me...

I'm in such a good mood! I even IMed a bunch of people to say 'Merry Christmas!' and like two out of the 15 actually kept a conversation with me.

Gotta get up early tomorrow to take care of Frannie's horsies! Oh boy! Then on Tuesday I'm leaving town to go celebrate Christmas with the other half of my family. I don't want to miss pit though, for more reasons than one.

Ja Ne!

Whats today again?

TODAY WAS SO MUCH FUN! I got to hang out with Jessica from 9:30 this morning to 11:40 tonight! We are scary together.

We cleaned the barn this morning... well actually we stood around and talked for about two hours, then Eric, April and Justin (Omfg he is soooooooooooooo hot!) came in and we talked some more. Then we finally decided to clean, it took 40 minutes. Record time thanks. Went home got changed, went to Jess's house and just hung out there. Watched The Brothers Grimm- awesome movie.

Left at 6:30 to go to Mount Hope Chruch to watch the performance. It was an amazing performance, but I thought, granted it was in a church, it was a little inappropriate that they were trying to, not really convert, but push Jesus into our lives. Some of the things the guy said really just made me want to get up and leave. I just don't feel comfortable when someone trys to tell me I'm going to Hell for the sins I make, and if I don't asked to be forgiven I won't be.

Fantastic performance though, I'm glad Nick told me about it.

The show got done around 9:30, and we both thought, hell- its early, lets go see a movie! So we went and saw The Ringer, with Johnny Knoxville. Funniest movie ever! Go see it!

One more day till Christmas! I have no presents to give =(

Except! Josh Groban (he was on sale!) and that uh one Alhao somthing guy for Jessica! Who in return is giving me Johnny Knoxville (She thinks he is too old for me... Psh... age doesn't matter!) and someone else very special! Oh what a great Christmas it will be!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Up. Date. Ing.

I finally decided to update. I'm home alone and there is nothing else to do.

Last Friday was the last day before Christmas Break. I had a good week, surprisingly. When I went back to school everyone was in complete shock that I was kicked, and practically everyone knew about it. Even though I only told three people... I got some presents from a few of my friends, and shampoo and conditioner from Trisha. Haha she made me into a charity case. I turned in my research paper that had been weighing down my shoulders, and I think I did a nice job on it.

I felt bad though, I didn't and still don't have money to buy anyone Christmas presents this year. I've got $20 in my bank account, and $13 in my purse. I still owe Gil, my farrier, $100 for shoeing and trimming Nightingale and Will. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to pay him, then in January they get their feet done again and I've got to come up with another $100. My mom keeps telling me that she could come up with a bit to help me pay, but I know she doesn't have the money either. It's frustrating. I need to get another job, but I can't drive. I can't help but feel selfish with my two horses, while we are sitting here with absolutly no money. I know I should sell one... but I just don't have the heart. I'm so attached to both of them I would never be able to.

I found out somthing that really upset me yesterday. My dad, who is having problems finding houses to paint, is thinking about going to New Orleans to help with reconstruction. When I heard my mom tell me that over the phone my heart stopped. I know he's strong and he can handle it, but I worry about him. After everything he's been through I just don't want him to go through anything else. What if somthing horrible happens to him down there? What if he gets hurt? How long would he be gone?

I can't help but feel like my whole world is falling apart around me.

I wish there was a way I could help my family. I want to make enough money where dad didn't have to go down south, and mom wouldn't be so utterly stressed that she could finally get a good nights sleep. But what can I do? I'm 15 years old. I can barely take care of myself...

I just wish things would be easier.

I hate Sundays. I hate horses.

I hate Sundays. I hate horses.

Went out to the barn today. Dropped mom at the small barn to clean Nightingales stall; I drove up to the big barn to clean Wills stall. Got there, and grabbed the wheel barrow and went over to his stall. Opened it and went it. Scratched him on the neck, and easily pushed him in the corner. Turned around and went back to the wheel barrow. Heard him jump, turned around. Watched as he whipped around, and watched as his back foot got closer and closer to my chest. Felt the kick to the chest. Couldn't breath. Couldn't move. Just stood...

I got home and I cried, and cried... then cried some more. My parents are still asking me if it hurts. So I keep telling them no. But, it hurts. It hurts really bad but I can't tell them that. We don't have the money to go see a doctor. I can't put anymore stress onto my mom. So, I act strong and tell her I'm fine, and not to worry about me.

It hurt me really bad when my dad didn't even ask if I was ok. It made my tears come ten times harder. He never asked me if I was ok, and now hes not even home.

Jess just asked me if I was ok. I think I told her the truth... that I was fine. But I don't really know if I am.

>.< This week sucks.

"I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!"

Don't let your secrets pass you by. Who knows... They might feel the same way you do.

"KISSES!" <-- So funny...

6th hour once again. Nothing to do. Nothing new on the internet to look at. Its. Just. Boring.

Yesterday was defintely and interesting day. It had its ups and down. In second hour one of my friends got an emergency call on her cell phone. We went into the bathroom and she called it back, ended up her good friend who is in Texas for bootcamp got seriously hurt. He has put her on his list to call if he should get hurt. He had to have surgery at 12; I don't think she knows what happened.

In 2nd hour, Preston was being a jerk. Get this... two Prestons in one day! Toatlly blows... Anyway, while I was in the bathroom with my friend, apparently Victoria decided she was going to be a loud mouth, and because of her we had to turn in the assignment that originally wasn't going to be turned in. Yeah, guess who didn't have it finished! Thats right! ME! I got 5/20 on it, killed my, already suffering, grade. I serisouly hate him, his class, EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM! Then! He gave us a test that we weren't suppose to take until like tomorrow.... Good thing I did pretty good on that. Go me... 26/30!

Last night I ended up with a shit load of homework. How I hate homework... I was working on it all till about 8. Then I was talking to Nick for maybe a few hours. Lol "KISSES!" He drove by my house and honked. Yup. I heard him.

Pit tonight. Don't really want to go. McBride said he might be there, so that should make it a bit more interesting. I heard a bunch of people might end up skipping it. But I won't say anything, because last year I skipped practically uh.. all of them.

Until later I guess, I don't have anything else to write.

Ciao <3

I know its long, but theres a story in it!

Another day, another story. But todays story is quite entertaining!

So I was sitting in 6th hour today, my internet web design, and Mrs. Preston flips out, and starts complaining about our holiday webs. We were suppose to pick any holiday, and make a 5 page web site on that choice. I picked Easter, because I figured everyone else was already doing Christmas. I made my other four pages, and decided that for my 5th page, I would put a cute little story. So I got onto the internet, and searched up a story. I finally came across a website that had this at the top:

THE STORY OF THE EASTER BUNNY;
A HOLIDAY FABLE FOR MY DAUGHTERS
by: Max Burbank

I thought cool, he wrote this story for his young daughters to make them happy. So I read the first line:

On a fine Sunday Morning in Spring, you’ll wake up and find brightly colored baskets full of treats in the living room.

Then copied and pasted it onto my page. Once I was finished with the web I sent it to the teacher, and felt awesome cause I had the whole rest of the hour to do nothing.

Now... back to today. While Mrs. Preston was screaming at everyone I opened up my webpage to see if I had met all the requirements she was saying. I stopped on my story page, and was just glancing though it. Then I noticed, "No Shit!" Haha... well to say the least, I got very pale. I started to freak out. She continued to tell the class they had to redo the web pages, and the people that usually got 4.0's (only like 4 people including me) could go up and see if they had to or not.

So I went up to her desk and waited in line while the other girls got talked to. She opened my page... Glanced around it... clicked onto the story page... and stopped. Ohhhh man... Did my stomach drop or what....

Now what would you do if I just stopped there?

Wouldn't that just be soo annoying?

*Everyone advances with pointy objects* Haha O.O; Just Kidding...!

So she looked up at me. "Nice job Hilary... Just make one page with a bookmark and send it to me, and you 4.0 it." *Falls over* Score! Hilary makes it through yet another situation again!

Heres the story:

On a fine Sunday Morning in Spring, you’ll wake up and find brightly colored baskets full of treats in the living room. Later you’ll hunt for plastic eggs filled with chocolates and hair ribbons and toys. Later your father will hide in the garage and furtively gnaw the giant solid chocolate rabbit that came last week via UPS addressed to you, sucking pilfered nip bottles of Jaegermeister and counting his grievances. Who’s responsible for these fanciful delights? The Easter Bunny! But who is this Marvelous Hare and where did he come from?

Now do you see how that can be deceiving ? Oh, it gets better.

And what in the world does he have to do with the holiday for which he is named, apart from shielding you kids from the bloodthirsty horror of the real story, much the way Santa masks the tragedy of a child of God born to be sacrificed and the tooth fairy keeps you from dwelling overmuch on the sore bleeding hole in your jaw.

The Easter Bunny wasn’t always the Easter Bunny! Oh, my, no. He was born long before all that and was known for much of his young life as a loud mouthed Jew Bunny. Oh he had a lot of opinions on a lot of subjects like how rich people would never get into heaven, how prostitutes and tax collectors were better company than most pious folk and how throwing stones at an adulterous woman until she died was almost always naughty. That skinny little Jew Bunny had so many thoughts like that in his lop eared head they just came streaming out either side of his unsightly, huge, buck teeth! To make matters worse, he was making his fellow Jew Bunnies uppity. Naturally all the other animals hated him and wanted him to shut up.

"You know," said the Woodchuck, "It’s bad enough those Bunnies control Hollywood, the Media and the World Bank, but you let them get all fluffed up and political, next thing you know they’ll... well, they’ll... uh... do some damn Bunny thing we all won’t like, that’s for sure."

"No shit!" said the Duck, "I friggin’ hate them God Damn friggin’ Bunny frigs! I got a friggin’ pipe bomb and a friggin’ hate site on the friggin’ world wide friggin’ web wit that god damn friggin’ Jew Bunny’s name on it!"

"Well," said the Bear, "it pains me to say it, but I think we’ll have to do something about this Bunny problem."

"Them friggin’ god damn friggin’ Bunnies is up to their cotton tails with the Friggin’ ATF!" quacked the Duck maniacally. "Janet Reno’s a friggin secret Bunny!"

"I think we need to make a lesson of this Bunny," said the endangered Eastern Speckled Snail Darter.

"ARGH!" shrieked the Duck, frothing at the beak and tumbling onto the dusty desert ground in some sort of mild seizure, "The U.N. is controlling our thoughts! They’re drugging the friggin’ toaster waffles!"

So, children, to make a long story short, the animals found the loud mouth Jew Bunny and killed him, publicly, slowly, and in a particularly gruesome though totally legal state sponsored execution. However bad you imagine it was, it was quite a bit worse, but it’s all right and there’s no need to feel bad about the Bunny’s excruciating pain and suffering, because three days later he came back to life. After that no one saw or heard much of the bunny until many years later he was found hopping down the Bunny trail distributing painted hard boiled eggs.

"Say," said the Star Nosed Mole "Ain’t you that Jew Bunny? The one with all them opinions?"

"Good Christ, no!" lied the terrified Rabbit, thankful the Mole’s eyesight was unreliable. "A rabbit could get killed for that kind of thing. I just give out candy!"

So remember the lesson of the Easter Bunny children. People like a nice chocolate a hell of a lot better than hearing what you think. And if you have a rabbit of your own one day, remember, while they may give out eggs, they don’t lay them. So for the last time, stay away from the cage. Those aren’t Raisinettes.

And here I thought it was a childrens story...

I don't want this change...

I wish I could just go sit outside and stare up at the moon for hours. The moon is so mysterious, and comforting at the same time. Sometime when things get so overwhelming, thats what I do; I lie at my bedroom window and just stare. It always seems to take the demons I’m facing away, and leaves me with a content feeling. Tonight I only have one problem…

There is no moon.

It seems I have come across a road block. I always thought I was a strong person; I always like to keep my feelings to myself. Tonight was not the case. I’m a mess. I desperately need someone just to hold on to, and tell me everything will be alright. Who am I joking? I haven’t had someone like that ever. Except for one person. Now, he is leaving. Being sent off never to be heard from again. My heart is aching, as I try to be strong. I don’t want to be selfish, and tell him to do something drastic like run away. But it hurts. Even as I’m sitting here typing this, my tears are threatening to spill.

It makes me feel so vulnerable, a new feeling that I’m not used to. I wish things could just be good. I wish I could help everyone that needed me; I would give anything to make those things better. I would put everyone’s happiness before my own. I can live with my own grief, but I cannot stand by and watch other people hurt. I just want to close my eyes and make it better…

Tomorrow at school it will seem like nothing has happened. I will act as my normal, happy self. I hate acting. I was never very good at it.

Time to plaster on that happy smile once again. That smile that covers so many tears, so much pain, that nobody will ever see.

I’m strong… I’m fragile… but either way, I’m still here...

Lies, this is only 26 questions. Wheres # 12?

These are supposedly 27 questions that no one would ever think to ask.

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you think? "Ew..."

2. How much cash do you have on you? Like on me? None. I'm still in my Pj's!

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? BEST!

4. Favorite planet? Saturn. It has rings ^-^

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Kerry, who is also the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? I don't have any good ones :(

7. What shirt are you wearing? A soccer one, haha and it has a hole in a REALLY bad place..

8. Do you "label" yourself? I am a "LOSER!" Go me.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing right now. Ha what shoes?

10. Bright or Dark Room? Its medium!

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Two people actually Matt and Rachel! I hate them... (Just Kidding!)

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? You know when you're lying in bed, and you are imagining all the things you wish would happen? Well I was doing that ^.~

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? I don't know I deleted it, but it was from Karlie threatning to not bring me Christmas lights for that parade. Haha cause I called her a retard!

15. Quote some rap lyrics: Eww. Rap. >.<

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? I don't know.. I laugh a lot! lol

17. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my madre like last week

18. Last furry thing you touched? My poochy Galahad <3

19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days? Dude like A LOT. Not. =P

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? A BILLION!

21. Favorite age you have been so far? Eh. *shrugs*

22. Your worst enemy? Myself

23. What is your current desktop picture? It's from Bleach! Which is the best! *Glares at Nick*

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Oy! You awake?" Haha I said Oy.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? HELLO! A MILLION BUCKS! I don't have a huge major regret, even if I did its already done and passed.

26. Do you like someone? Maybe.... o.o;

27. The last song you listened to? Blink 182, Always. It was on the radio!

Well that was fun.

Bleehh... Nothing to do. So I will post this before I start saying random things.

Ciao!

Found this, and really liked it.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your life’s longings.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have been shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, with out moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bare the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful, and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from God’s presence. I want to know if you can live with the failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Butterflies.

I don't think I've been this happy in a long time. I can't stop smiling, and even though my mouth hurts, I just can't stop!

I talked with him the other day, and we were both laughing. I don't think I've ever blushed that much while talking to a guy before. Everytime he looked I got this fluttery feeling in my stomach. Oh how I love that feeling. I'm kind of confused though. I had feelings for him a while ago, so I don't know if they are just old feelings that might still be there... Or if they are true.

Whatever they are I really like them. If they put me in a mood like this, they are welcome to stay as loooooong as they want!


As Hannah would say... Seize the day.

This post has no purpose

It's December! That means winter! Soon it will be spring again! O.o' Don't ask...

So like I said yesterday to all of my adoring fans (Right >.<) I was probably going to write in here today. Nothing to do, projects done, 20 minutes left of class. Oh. Boy. Haha can you tell I really don't have anything to write?

So today I was talking to everyone, and they were talking about graduation. Honestly I don't really want to graduate with my class. I would almost rather graduate, I don't know, early? For some reason I just want to...

Ugh... I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE! There's absolutly nothing to do in this class. Only like two weeks until Christmas Break! Kerry said somthing to me about going uh, somewhere with her lol. I don't remember the place, but it has beaches, sun, no snow, warm weather, and so on. I think it would be awesome to go with her, but I doubt my parents will let me.

Pit tonight >.< that means I get to sit for 2 hours. good thing I have homework then huh...

Alright I wasted a whole maybe five minutes, but it's hard to write when I have that feeling that someone is reading over my shoulder.

Ciao =P

Dropping like flys

It's Wednesday. I'm so ready for this week to be over with already.

We just got off of Thanksgiving Break Monday, and it seems like we've been in school forever! I'm sitting here in 6th hour, and I already finished my half of the project. I know I'm going to have to fix some stuff later, like the "U" which is suppose to be "You" but whatever.

Yeah out at the barn has been toatlly messed up. The horses have seriously been dropping like flys. Slim, on of the MSU Polo teams horses, got really twisted up last Friday. the coach came out and gave him some drugs, then Mary heard him on the phone saying it didn't look too good. Well, they never took him to MSU, so that was really stupid. Mom had to go out Saturday morning to pull out the trailer. When Eric and I got there, they said he was going to stay in the trailer until Monday when they could take him to MSU. I freaked out, thinking he was still alive and they were going to leave him standing in there. I later found out they had put him down in the trailer. I walked over and slowly opened the side door. That was the first time I've seen an animal that big lying there dead. I remember thinking before that I was stronger than the other women there, and I wouldn't cry. I busted out into tears before it actually hit me.

Then yesterday, JD, the very first horse I ever rode, was put down. He had a complete blockage, and nobody know why. Gene thinks it might have been from getting kicked. So, when I got home, dad was talking about how maybe Gene washed out the trailer because it wasn't parked where it usually goes. Yup, found out Andy took JD to MSU.

Oh and Melody, Andy and Kellys horse, some how died as well. All in this last week. Everything is so messed up.

Class is almost over, I'm sure since I'll probably have nothing to do tomorrow I will update again.

Ciao

SOO MUCH ENERGY!

It is 1:18. Where should I be? School. But I'm not. Here I am, at home, slowly getting better from my sickness.

You know, I was thinking. I miss a lot of school from being sick, or just skipping. If I added up all the days I missed it would probably equal a whole quarter of school. Ha. Go me. I hate going to school, I think thats why I always get sick because I don't fight it off. Now... that would be so much better if there was someone to talk to during the day. *Sigh* Daniel was on, but the loser said 'brb', signed off and hasn't gotten back on. Loser! Way to leave me! WAY TA GO! I talked to Nick for like... 5 minutes.

Lalala... my patience for Eric to get home is SLIMMING.... That bakamai (<-- Damn Fool. Haha I <3 Japanese) took the lap top, took my entertainment, took my life. ALL I WANT TO DO IS WATCH BLEACH! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! HE GOT EPISODE 58 LAST NIGHT! Then maybe after Bleach, play World of Warcraft. But NooooOOooo. He left it in his backback, and went off to school.

IM SO BORED!

Dad just got home. Thats grand. Cause I want to smell smoke the rest of the day. >.<

Haha. Me cranky when me sick.

GUESS WHAT! (To no one inparticular) I DOWNLOADED SONGS TODAY lol. I just got major Deja Vu. That was creepy O.o

I promise I'm not crazy by the way. I just havn't had much social contact, or sunlight, in the last 4 days. Ha. Awesome.

I DON'T LOOK LIKE A ZOMBIE ANYMORE! SCORE! Muah.

Alright. I'm done. I think I've scared you all enough.

I <3 YOU! (Not really but thats alright!)

You say...

You say I'm pretty, but not beautiful.
You say I'm nice, but not caring.
You say I'm good, but not great .
You say I'm fun, but not exciting.
You say I'm smart, but not intelligent.
You never say the things I truly want to hear.

Well it is Sunday once again. I am beginning to hate Sundays, you know why? Because Sundays are dark days. Day where there's absolutly nothing to do, where your mind wanders into places you try to forget. Or places you bury inside. Sunday always brings them back; those dark thoughts, the regrets, the what if's, everything.

Have you ever been in one of those moods where you just want to listen to those really depressing songs, and just sulk? I'm in one of those moods right now. So I'm listening to 'Forget It' by Breaking Benjamin. It's the song I always listen to when I get into moods like this. It just seems to help.

Don't mind me as I continue to switch topics.

I was talking to Matt last night. We were talking about relationships, and dating, and all that exciting stuff. Well, the conversation led to guys not liking me and so on. Well, I found out:

1) I'm a lot to handle
2) I'm loud
3) I'm Intimidating
4) I'm Intimidating cause I'm tall
5) and because I punch hard
6) I need a submissive guy
7) Guys are pansys
8) and shy

I can see why Matt thinks I need a submissive guy, I am a lot to handle. But, I don't want a submissive guy. What fun is it when you always get your way? Those stupid little fights about what movie we should go see on a Friday night gives the relationship spice. I want that one guy that is always a mystery; not somone I can read like a book. I want to get that giddy feeling in my stomach everytime I see his name on my phone for an incoming call, or when he smiles from across the room at me. Tall, dark and mysterious.

I seriously am too old for my age. I feel like a 25 year old in a 15 year olds body.

Only two days of school next week, that should be good. I'm ready for the break, it'll give me time to catch up with my emotions which are way out of the ball park right now.

I thought I would post this song, because I'm listening to it. Again, and again, and again. You get the point.

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I'll let it happen to you
Out of mind, forget it there's nothing to lose
But my mind and all the things I wanted

Everytime I get it I throw it away
It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
By the time I lose it I'm not afraid
I'm alive but I can Surely fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see

Forget it

There's a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe
To question every answer counted

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way

Forget it

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Out of mind, I love it, easy to please
Nevermind, forget it, just memories
On a page inside a spiral notebook

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
I can live forever here

Forget it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're a part of me that I don't wanna see

I can live forever here

-Forget it, Breaking Benjamin

This post has no meaning. IT was just too fucking funny.

xXCrimsonEnvyXx: Rachel!
Chicaboom800: Hilary!
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: I have a question for you!
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: What would you do if your great aunt stuck a pineapple in her ass and danced around WalMart when you were there with your boyfriend shopping for windex?
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: ?
Chicaboom800: WTF! hahaha! well..... I'd probably pretend I wasn't related to her silly
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: Well... what if she was wearing a shirt with your face on it
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: that says IM HER AUNT on it?
Chicaboom800: I'd.......leave Walmart lol
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: What about the windex?
Chicaboom800: I'd go to Meijer instead. I never shop at WalMart anyway
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: What if Meijer was closed?
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: and you desperatly needed the windex
Chicaboom800: THAT would never happen. Meijer is open 24/7
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: but what if it got blown up
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: becuase a small child lit it on fire while playing with matches
Chicaboom800: lol well it depends what I need the windex for
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: its a life or death situation
Chicaboom800: who's dying? lol
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: um
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: you dog
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: your*
Chicaboom800: okay....then I would.....feed her banana peels instead.
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: wtf Rachel? She need windex
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: not banana peels
Chicaboom800: haha! okay okay.....I'd go to kroger.
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: What if kroger was out of windex?
Chicaboom800: don't they have off brand window cleaner?xXCrimsonEnvyXx: that doesnt matter
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: you need WINDEX
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: times running out! WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!
Chicaboom800: I would.....um!! I don't know, I'd buy the Windex at Walmart, take the pineapple out of my aunt's ass and give it to my boyfriend!
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: ROFLMAO!
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: GOOD ANSWER!
Chicaboom800: hahahaha! yes!!
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: lmao
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: that was awesome
xXCrimsonEnvyXx: Ding Ding Ding! RACHEL WINS

The best answer I got! Oh right, courtsey of Becca for coming up with the question!

I'm going to try to start trying

Yay. Sunday.

Well, this weekend has been pretty fun to say the least. Saturday morning I had to go out and work at the barn. I cleaned the small barn, while Eric and mom did big barn. It was annoying in the beginning because the JV Polo team was in there, and they really didn't know what they were doing so they were right in the way basically the entire time. They finally left, and Emily (One of the Varsity Captains) came in and was un-tacking her horse. She started talking to me about how her and Courntey were thinking about giving lessons to the people out there on how to play polo. At first they were thinking about the Pony Cult, but I told them that they were all crazy, so she decided differently. I think I've got a few people, Jessica and Rachel, but there aren't that many people out there. I'm excited to learn though I think it would be so awesome!

Saturday night I had originally planned on doing nothing, just staying home and relaxing, but Matt and Ski were basically forcing me to go bowling with everyone. I finally agreed to go, and with my pocket full of 11 dollars in cash we went bowling. There were a lot of people there, Amanda, Cliff, Becca, Crystal, Allie, Ryan, Myself, Matt, Ski, Alexa, and a few people from Amanda's old school. We had a blast, but I will just say this, never bowl 3 games. It takes forever! 1 is no problem, 2 is alright, 3 is pushing it. So Allie, Ryan and Alexa left after the 2nd game, and it was just Ski, Matt and I on our lane. Ski decided he was going to bowl the entire game. Well close to the end of it everyone had left. After we were done we ran and got some food, then they brought me home. We definitely need to do that again!

So here I am, sitting in a big sweatshirt and comfy pants. This is why I love Sundays. I probably should go out to the barn to ride Nightingale today, but it's really windy and I really don't feel like fighting her because of the wind. So, I think I will just turn on some music and zone out the world around me, until my mom comes in and tell me I have to clean my room or the bathroom or somthing I really just don't want to do.

Pc ^.~

110 Posts later

YaY! HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY BLOGGER! WOOO!

Even I scare myself sometimes.

I'm so tired of going to school, I desperatly need a break. Yeah, I did figure it out; I'm infected with the plague. Obviously the 'Stay-away-from-me-I'm-a-loser-that-has-no-friends-and-couldnt-find-her-way-out-of-a-plastic-bag plauge' (Even though I would probably try to seal the damn plastic bag and stay there). I told my mom when we got home from the barn that I was going to go buy a plane ticket, parachute down to a forgotten island, live there with a bag full of years and years of supplies and just stay there. Of course she laughed at me, who doesn't now days, and told me I would miss everyone. HA! I would throw myself a fucking party, build a huge ass fire and dance around it like some crazy savage. Screw people, people are what hurt people and make them feel like shit, not being stranded on an island to sulk in your own plauge.

My mind is a scary place. Yet, can come up with absolutly wonderful ideas ne?

Me... want... island... paradise...

Tomorrow is my 1 year anniversary with my blog. How sweet.

Just 2 and a half more years. Then high school will finally be over, and I won't have to see these people ever again.

My heart is broken... for no reason.

I’m having a hard time staying positive. Everything just seems to be going wrong, but it’s not…

My little boat of happiness is slowly sinking, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep it afloat. I’m going crazy, I have no one to talk to, and I just have the sudden urges to cry. I just feel like I’m so on the outside, and can’t get back in.

Why do people need attention? Why do we always crave that love that we can only get from one other person? I can’t deal with this teenager thing much longer. My emotions are so wired I can’t handle it.

I don’t want attention, but a part of me is desperately craving it right now. And it seems that the worst part is beginning to take over. I don’t want to go back into a depression; I won’t be able to handle it again. Not again… It’s like a deep hole, that you can’t climb your way out of. I did it once, I can’t do it again.

What happens when you just want to give up, and let it take over your life? What happens then?

I could feel his eyes staring down upon me,
so I looked up and he captured my gaze.
I don’t know how long we stayed like that,
but I wish it had been forever.

I’ll never forget the way he smiled,
the way he was smiling down at me.
It hurts so much to smile back,
to pretend everything is fine.

When in all reality,
he’s killing me inside.
He will never know how I felt
when my world went crashing down,
in just those few seconds,
when he was staring back at me.

I Love Being Me.

What is it with you guys and NOT LEAVING ME COMMENTS ANYMORE?! I feel so unloved... I guess I will just type to no one then.

Today we had a assembly, during first hour, about stress. The school had gotten a presenter named Guy Doud. When he first came out it was a little weird, I thought it was kind of a joke, but after he started talking I really just zoned into what he was saying. Everything he talked about I could relate to, and it just gave me a good feeling that I'm not the only one that has thoughts like that. He talked about his life when he was younger, and about his peers, and everything he was talking about, the embarassment, the nervousness, I could relate to. Elementary School was hard for me, because like he said, at school he learned one thing... He was fat. I remember going to school and having a hard time fitting in because I was taller and bigger than the other kids. I have always been self conscious, and thats one of the reasons I don't have a boyfriend and other things like that. I'm not secure enough with myself as a person to believe someone when they tell me I'm beautiful or pretty (which I still don't think I am).

I couldn't help but laugh at all the preppy girls around me when he was talking about self mutilation. I laugh because they are naive. And I laugh because I know that they do it too. They try to be perfect and the prettiest, (or the dumbest in some of their cases) but I think I'm finally starting to realize that everyone has their own problems as well. It really made me take a step back, and really look at them as individuals instead of just, preps.

My secret is out. Matt now knows who I am obsessing over. It feels good to finally have my secret out. I've kept that locked up for over a year and a half, and even though I told him lies in the past, he didn't laugh or get mad. I guess it felt like I had this sense of security afterwards, like I know I can trust him. Thats a good feeling.

So I guess you can tell I'm in a pretty good mood right now. I like this feeling, besides the headache, everything is perfect.

The reason it's perfect is because I have thought over a lot of things. I finally realized I have been wasting my energy on things that I didn't need to. For example, the guy I like - has a girlfriend. I have been constantly thinking about the what if's, and I'm done with it. I know that someday I will find my Prince Charming, and he will love me for me.

Knowing that.... makes me feel perfect.

Mark your confessions

[X] I'm afraid of the quiet.

[x] I am really ticklish.

[X] I'm afraid of the dark.

[x] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.

[ ] I am homosexual.

[x] I believe in true love.

[ ] I've run away from home.

[ ] I listen to political music.

[ ] I collect comic books.

[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.

[X ] I've stayed out all night.

[ ] I open up to others easily.

[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.

[x] I watch the news, some of the time.

[X ] I own over 5 rap CDs.

[x] I love Disney movies.

[X ] I am a sucker for brown or blue eyes.

[ ] I don't kill bugs.

[x] I curse once in awhile.

[X ] I have (had) "x"s in my screen name.

[x] I've slipped and fell in public.

[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.

[ ] I love Spam.

[X ] I bake well.

[x] I have worn pajamas to class.

[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie.

[x] I have a job.

[X] Talked on a phone for 5+ hours.

[ ] I love Dr. Phil

[x] I like someone. Yes.... I very much do.....

[X] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. HaHaHaAhAhAh

[x] I am self-conscious.

[x] I love to laugh.

[X] I have tried alcohol.

[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.

[ x] I have tried a cigarette.

[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.

[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.

[ x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.

[ ] I can't swallow pills.

[x] I have a few scars.

[ ] I've been out of this country.

[X] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.

[x] I love chocolate.

[x] I bite my nails.

[x] I am not comfortable with being me.

[X] I play computer games when I'm bored.

[ ] Gotten lost in the city.

[x] Thought of suicide before.

[x] Seen a shooting star.

[ ] Had a serious surgery.

[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas.

[ ] Have kissed a stranger.

[x] Hugged a stranger.

[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of the same sex.

[ ] Been in a fist fight.

[ ] Been arrested.

[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.

[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

[ ] Made out in an elevator.

[x] Swore at your parents.

[X] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose.

[ ] Been skydiving.

[ ] Been bungee jumping.

[X] Gotten stitches.

[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.

[x] Bitten someone.

[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.

[x] Gotten the chicken pox.

[ ] Crashed into a car.

[ ] been to Japan.

[ ] Ridden in a taxi.

[ ] Shoplifted.

[ ] Been fired.

[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. =( thats how it is now

[x] Stole something from your job.

[ ] Gone on a blind date.

[x] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.

[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

[ ] Been to Europe.

[ ] Slept with a co-worker.

[ ] Been married.

[ ] Gotten divorced.

[ ] Saw someone/something dying.

[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day.

[ ] Been to Canada.

[ ] Been on a Plane.

[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[ ] Thrown up in a bar.

[x] Eaten sushi.

[x] Been snowboarding.

[X] Been skiing.

[X] Been ice skating.

[x] Cried in public.

[x AS A JOKE!!] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.

[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.

[x] Thought of someone almost 24/7.

[x] Hates the world.

[ ]I've slept with someone on the first night.

6th hour is boring ;_;

I'M NOT DEAD! *Cheers!*

Look! I'm alive! Bet you all thought I had just keeled over huh? Yeah well you're not that lucky >=(

I've been really busy lately with horses, school, and just everything going on. We got Will (my new horsie!) and he is awesome! For a four year old he is really smart and surprisingly doesn't spook at anything. When we first got him, we couldn't get him in the trailor and he ended up breaking a few bones in my foot (or at least thats what everyone told me *cough* I didnt go to the doctors). I couldn't stay mad at him though, he is just to cute!

YES VINCE! CUTE!

I completley embarassed myself infront of Justin, the hottie that works out at the barn. I was taking Ashbar, Jessica's horse, outside to eat grass and he decided to act like a moron and rear, then run. Burnt the shit out of my hand and then I looked like a fool as I ran after him. Oh well.

Nightingale is doing much better. She did have an abysess, we actually went out to the barn one day and her entire back leg was swollen. It was so scary, I freaked out and screamed at my mom to call the vet. He came out and got it out though.

The next day she started to collic (look it up >=P) and that really scared us. Lol then the NEXT day the dentist came out and did her teeth. They were REALLY bad, he had me feel them and I could have sliced open my finger on them. Lets just say I felt REALLY, REALLY horrible.

Schools going I guess. I don't like it very much but can't do much about that. Not much drama going on surprisingly. That's always a good thing!

Uh, I think thats about it. I had to cut it short cause I have to leave in like 5 minutes.

Oh Yeah!

...::...HAPPY HALLOWEEN...::...

<-- SOOO CUTE!!!!

and you say I'm the one that needs pills....

It’s Sunday. Good ol’ Sunday… How many things could possibly go wrong on Sunday…

Well it started bright and early this morning. I had to feed the Eldred’s horses, so I was up and out of bed by 8. VERY early for me on a Sunday. Anyways, fed them then took them out. Got kicked in the back of the leg twice by those stupid mules. Got home, was planning on going back to bed, but nope! My dog decided to break into my room and lay on my bed with his dirty paws. Stunning. My options a) sleep in a dirt filled bed b) sleep in the computer room c) stay awake…

I know you all expected me to pick b…. but I picked c…. Good ol’ c…

Then Brie… my favorite person in the world decided to call me and INVITE HERSELF over to use my computer. Ha! Now I don’t know how you all start off your mornings, but I do not recommend letting Brie come over. So she came on over, raided my refrigerator of what we had left then used up practically all our cartridge. Oh yes, then she broke the printer. Oh yeah, and it was only about 11:30 by then.

Drove Brie home because her parents wouldn’t come get her. Was going through the light and mom made me JAM on the breaks in the middle of the intersection because people were crossing. Well… too bad the people had already CROSSED, and now I had many angry people trying to get through as I sat there in the middle. ^-^ and it gets better… I was driving through town as we screamed at each other; oh wait! HI MR COP! Yep… a friendly cop watched me as I sped past him… What a nice guy *sigh*

We got home and I chucked the keys at her head (or at least I tried to because my hands were full and they fell on the ground). We went off to the pet shop, I had to buy everything. Even after she said she would buy the chain – oh no. I had to buy it since she paid 600 for Will. I put in $100 for him since that was all I could afford at the time (because I haven’t gotten paid). Went to target got to follow her around. Went to the mall and she made a scene about not getting in the pants I needed. Went to taco bell. Drove home.

4:30 rolled around and we needed to go out to the barn. Nightingale’s got an absses (sp?) so we had to wrap her back foot with duct tape. Can’t ride her for like a week or two. She can’t go outside for a week or two. Well…. Fuck…. Just what I needed today hmm…

Gene asked me to help bring in horses. ‘Sure,’ I said ‘Why not…’ Ha…ha… I had 3 polo horses freak out and kick me in the back of the leg. OH yeah. SAME EXACT SPOT FROM THIS MORNING. ^-^ I had one jump and I twisted my back wrong. So I’m sore. Ha... Well one of the polo girls didn’t know where the mares went. I went up to help and so did MOMMY… I went outside and brought one in, I pulled the door and practically pulled my arm out of its socket. Went to pull the door out and mom completely FLIPPED the hell out slammed me into the stall door and ran to stop the horse from getting out. Yeah even though my body was half way in front of the door, which was closed enough to where the horse couldn’t fit.

Let me just tell you…. I was a HAPPY camper after that.

Just four more days… Four more and I can be out at the barn with my new horse…

=D=D=D=D

YAY!!! WE WENT AND SAW WILL TODAY!!!

IM GETTING A NEW HORSE!!!!

Such a happy day ^0^

I WANNA BE ON DRUMLINE!

MSU Marching Band - amazing.

MSU Drum line - even more amazing.

I'm torn... I want to learn to play quads for next year, but if I stay saxophone I will be section leader. Quads... Saxophone... Quads... Saxophone...

I can't choose :(

I think I may just have to try out the quads first... Hrmm... Maybe I could talk to Nick May about lessons =D

Williamston Marching Band 2005 - We kicked ass tonight guys =P

Where are my tickets Montel?!

My last post was very random to... er... all of you. But I'm not going to explain it on here, if you want to know what happened in details just asked me on aim or whatever but I don't know what really happened. Or if what I think is true...

Sometimes... We just need to move on I guess....

My mom finally got a hold of someone from CANTER so we can go out and see Will. Either Thrusday or Friday is when we're suppost to go see him. I'm excited; I need a new challenge and thats just not Nightingale. If we do like him, and he checks out to what we want him to be then we get a discount on him. $100 if we buy him on Saturday, the day of the open house, or $200 if we buy him AND trailor him home. I really hope this might be the right one.

I feel so sorry for Rachel though. Writing in here about looking for a new horse and stuff almost makes me feel like I'm bragging. Well... Rachel you can ride Nightingale anytime you want :) until you find a horse you might want to lease (if thats what you're doing, cause thats what I heard). Without you at the barn it would become a very lonely place with just me and all the crazy polo people.

Hmm.. Next subject...

Yeah, do you all remember that little Ricky Holland kid? Well, the people from the talk show Montel Williams called our house today. They thought we were the kids family and wanted to talk to us since nobody else would tell them anything. Dad told them a bunch of stuff and I was mad because they didn't even give us free tickets! How mean...

I think the kids dead personally. When he ran away it was way too hot, and I think he's in a corn field somewhere...

I think that's about everything. I just wanted to update because coming back here and seeing the previous post was making me feel depressed.

Grandledge Invitational tomorrow. We are going to do awsome! Too bad my pants aren't dry-cleaned. Oops..

Pit starts Monday too! I'm going to stick it out this year!

I'm the Pretty Princess today!

Another jolly good Monday…

Procrastinating is bad! Don’t do it! Don’t be like me, and procrastinate your life away… Its 4:30, and I have to leave at 7 and I have a shit load of homework. But… Am I doing it? Nope! I’m suppose to be doing my English synthesis paper which the rough draft is due Wednesday and final due Friday but I just don’t want to.

Well, I am now a proud owner of a new paintball gun. Kerry and I went and got me one yesterday and I’ve got a few good bruises on my legs courtesy of her. Ha ha but she’s got one on her butt. O=)

I wasn’t home like all weekend which kind of blows, but then kind of doesn’t. Kerry and I went to the corn maze and saw Josh Fulton, because he works there. Well he was totally stoned, and was just hilarious. I almost like him better when he’s so blown like that, but that’s just my own opinion. He definitely is a lot touchier like that, and a little creepier. After that I spent the night at her dad’s house.

I finally got to see Jessica after like a million years. Man she works every single day, two jobs and is never out at the barn. So I made her come out to the barn on Sunday and ride with me. Yeah and next weekend we’re going to Quarter Horse Congress in Columbia, Ohio. SLUMBER PARTY Friday night at her house! So I get to leave the football game at half time. The plan is that she’s going to come hang out and watch the game from the beginning so that should be really fun. Then go to my house so I can take a shower, and all that fun stuff. I’m excited; hopefully this week will fly by (unlikely).

Wow, I really don’t want to go to practice tonight. It’s hot out and I just don’t want to… DAMN MY OPEN SCHEDUEL! *sigh* I can’t skip out cause then I’ll get bitched at… Stupid Concentration Camp…. That’s what it is! Evil Nazis….

Hmm… Well, my mommy talked to some vet today and asked her about breeding. Well, I’ve been kind of looking into breeding Nightingale I think it would be cool, but I want to get another horse first. WOULDN’T IT JUST BE SO CUTE TO SEE A LITTLE NINNERS RUNNING AROUND?! Awww…..

Well, I’m done. I have to start my homework or I will NEVER get it done.

Sayonara!

HAPPY 98th POST!

Yay look it's my 98th post! Two more than it will be 100!! W00t!

Well thank god its Friday. Was it just me or was this week just really long?

The MSU Polo team is suppost to be trailoring in tonight. I hope they like it at our barn cause we put in a lot of free hours in to get down those damn cob webs. *Shudders* So many cob webs.... The barn look awsome though! I don't think I have ever seen it look this good. To bad its the girls polo team... I was hoping maybe there would be some pretty good lookin college guys around more. I've heard the coach is pretty good looking though! ^_~

Hey! I just remembered today is the last day of September! Yay! I'll be able to go out and see Willy pretty soon. I'm excited about seeing him; I'm hoping he might be the one.

We've got another home football game tonight, and I hope we will do good. We're marching 4 songs, and our first two aren't the greatest since we havn't practiced them very much. And the trumpets suck (Except Becca! <3)>. I wanted to watch Saw or The Notebook BUT NOOO! McBride's a pussy and will scream like a girl watching Saw, and cry like a bitch watching The Notebook. (Wow, I amuse myself sometimes when I explain things ^0^).

Wow.. I've got nothing else to write. My life is dull. Dull is good. I like dull. *Insert smiley here*

OH YeAH! I forgot to write about mine and Frannies adventure!

Well, we went to the movies Wednesday night, and saw the Corpse Bride. Toatlly awsome movie but anyway, we came walking out and it was down pouring. So we ran to her truck and she started it and went to turn on the wind shield whipers... and they didn't work. So we sat there for an hour trying to figure out how to turn them on and we were about to give up. Well it started to get hot, so I reached over and turned on the fan. Haha, well once I turned the fan up on full blast the whipers shot on! It was the funniest thing in the world. The little rubber part in the whiper shot off and hit a car on the other side of the parking lot. Good times....


Pirates of the Caribbean!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by

TaDa..

I'm feeling so sick all of a sudden... And I don't know why. Matt.... That Mountain Dew you gave me was poisoned... WASN'T IT?!

Well, most of my drama has finally come to an end for the time being. I'm happy it has because I just don't mix well with it all. I guess I'm just locking up my feeling for now, and just not caring because in the long run I will only get hurt and I have better things to look forward to. I know locking them up will only make them harder in the future, but I'm willing to take that risk so I can have a moments peace.

Brie and I had a major fight. I felt bad, I had called her and made her cry but I knew I had to get my point through. Well, she started hanging out with the wrong crowd, and me being the 'older sister' in her life was trying to get her to see what she was changing into. I had been down that road once before, hangout out with the druggy crowd where it just gets you into trouble, and I just don't want to see her hurt. I know I'm being over protective of her, but I don't want her to go through the same things that I had to go through, even though I know she has to grow up on her own.

Were looking at another horse. If you don't remember and/or havn't been keeping up with my life.. Ehem... Gabe was put down... So it took me a while to get over that, because I had gotten more attached to him that I had thought. Well, this new ones name is Cheyenne's Will, and he's really pretty. http://www.canterusa.org/michigan/sale/img_CANTER/MIC_Cheyennes_Will-2.jpg <- There's a full body picture of him and, http://www.canterusa.org/michigan/sale/img_CANTER/MIC_Cheyennes_Will.jpg <- a head shot. He's only four years old, and is 16.1 hands so he's still got about a year or so to grow. The thing I'm worried about is they might not approve out barn so he can come with us if we do decide to buy him. I'm really excited about the Big & Rich concert! Okay, get this! I came home and told my parents about getting front row and everything and my dad kinda flips. He's worried that we're going to get crushed in the front and pulls out this small pistol and is completley serious when he wants me to take it. He actually WANTED me to take a GUN to a concert! I freaked out, but I told him no. So he pulls out a complete knife set and I was just like wtf?! So I settled on pepper spray and that was IT. Man... how the hell did I get born into THIS family...? Well, after the football game on Friday we're all (saxophones) are going over to McBride's house; I don't really want to go. Ever since I heard to conversation with him and his mom on the phone I've really been spacing myself from him just because it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Now that I know his mom is a complete bitch, I feel like I walk on egg shells when I'm around him and I have no idea why. When I first went to his house for that party I went with Frannie and whenever I'm with Frannie I'm more comfortable. But being by myself (excluding the others for a moment) I'm going to be a nervous reck. I guess I'm just going to try and stay quite and not end up getting thrown out of his house my his crazy mom.

Well, I'm tired and I need to take a shower before I go to bed so I guess I'm off.

Haha, speaking of the devil's offspring.... Silly McBride....

Ciao..

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!! FRONT ROW!!!! SCORE!!!!!!!

Big & Rich...... Mmmm.... Big Kenny.... *drools*

Just one more day until the weekend....

Well I'm in sixth hour right now... We're suppost to be making our own webpages... But I have NO idea what to make mine on. So here I am writing in my lovely all time fabulous blog.

Yeah I definitly just got an ear full from the person sitting next to me. I know I should start it... But it's not that I don't want to do it.. I just have no idea what to do it on. Silly people. I have a hard time doing things like this because I want mine to look really good, but I know it won't because I'm not that advanced in the 'web page making.'

Anyway, it's raining outside. I love when it rains. Minus the smell of dead worms; rain is really calming. I like to just relax and listen to it. It should rain more often.

Oh! Big & Rich concert!! The day after Thanksgiving! It's going to be a blast. Jessica is suppost to get the tickets tomorrow morning, and she's going to try and get front row. I can't wait; Big & Rich is going to be so awsome in concert! Plus the Music Mafia is going to be there, along with Cowboy Troy and Gretchen Wilson. I'm hoping to get some pictures and then scan them onto here. Can't wait!

So anyway, I really should try to figure out what I need to do on this website. Or else.... I fail.... *gulp*...

<3 Me

Shit Happens

Surprise! It's Monday!

Wow, there has really been a lot on my mind lately. Everything from the horse show again to guys... *sigh* I'm tired of thinking, then rethinking everything over and over again. I. Need. A. Vacation.

Don't you just love saying that to yourself? 'I Need a Vacation!' Too bad I'll never get one.

Argh! Now I am just toatlly stuck at what to write. I used to write a lot, most of it complaining, but now people are constantly telling me I complain too much and now I'm afraid to write anything. Of course. See people don't understand that complaining is engraved in my personality; and its not goin' anywhere. Hilary complains a lot and she is sarcastic so just get used to it.

Go me... I just toatlly switched into 3rd person!

Well, the guy I used to like, is just turning into somebody I cannot stand. All of a sudden he just... changed. I don't understand why. Things were going good I mean we were both friends but now he's just really distant. When I try to ask him somthing he snaps at me; everything is just really confusing.

The guy I liked last year for some reason is just really sticking in my mind. Haha... Skywalker. We came up with his name last year. Good times.

Yeah; I toatlly sound like a little obsessed school girl. Go me. I rule.

Lalalala.....

6th hour is really boring did you know that? Internet Web Design. Gayest/easiest class ever(Juuuuussstt Kidding!! lol Rachel). So I'm wasting one of my work days to do nothing. Cause I feel like it.

I guess I'm done. I just felt like updating and complaining some more.

So what did you think? Did I complain enough for you?

Ciao >=P

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

Have you ever heard the phrase, "You learn somthing new everyday?" I definitly learned somthing today and for some reason, it's really bugging me.

High school is a bitch. We all know this. But have you ever really thought of your social standings? Yes I know you say you really don't care, I say it myself, but deep down a part of you does, and you constantly do small things to try and fit in. I always thought I sort of got along with everyone... Well today I learned a certain *cough*Preppy whore*cough* group is 'scared' of me. Well personally a part of me thinks it is an accomplishment; another part of me is frustrated. Honestly, I always thought I was a fun person to be around. I make a lot of people laugh and I've never really pushed mean feelings toward ANYONE. It does hurt that people really actually sit and judge me because of my height and how I could probably break them in two, but it really shows me that no matter how good of a friend I think I may have, theres always going to be that part of me that thinks their judging me.

*Sigh* am I really that intimidating?

School in general hasn't been going well either. I'm struggling in a lot of my classes, and I'm just finding myself more emotional about EVERYTHING. What happened to the Hilary that couldn't give a shit?! WHO STOLE HER! GIVE HER BACK! It's bad enough I feel like I'm practically being ripped in two, and were only about five weeks into school...

For some reason I just have the sudden urge to write. I really want to actually write a story and finish it. The farthest I've gotten on one is about 13 pages. Not to shabby, but I could do better. Give me some ideas; writing make the world get better.

You know, were playing this song in band... and I like fell in love with it ^-^ So I decided to put it in here

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna
hold you so much. At long last love has
arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're
just too good to be true. Can't take my
eyes off you.

Pardon the way that I stare. There's nothing
else to compare. The sight of you leaves me
weak. There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel. Please let me know
that it's real. You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say: Oh pretty
baby, don't bring me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna
hold you so much. At long last love has
arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're
just too good to be true. Can't take my
eyes off you.

I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say: Oh pretty
baby, don't bring me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....

Lalalala.... LEAVE ME A COMMENT! HarHAr

Saucy Wench...

Oh boy, another Monday...

I guess I should start out with the horse show! The show was awsome, Rachel and I had a lot of fun, and we both placed pretty good. I got a 1st, two 2nds, and a 3rd out of 5 classes. It confused me that I didn't place in my English Equ. class when I got 3rd in pleasure. Rachel got cheated on one of her rides as well. The judge was very inconsistant in my opinion.

Stephanie was really trying to learn from us. I was quite impressed that she WANTED to learn all the different things and not just blow it off. I think she has a lot of potiental after she gets maybe about a year under her belt of lessons and what not. Amelia or whatever her name is; I'm definitly not impressed with her. I saw her for the first time at the show, and she wasn't showing... She was the one that mainly needed to be showing since she hasn't been to ANY shows, hasn't cantered and has no show clothes. Not to mention she was a complete bitch to her mom; apparently she just wants to walk in thinking she knows what the hell she's doing, when in all reality... She knows absolutly nothing.

Heidi joined the equestrian team too!

See Rachel, I don't mind putting everything in here lol.

Yesterday was a blast! Jessica called me about a week ago and was wondering if I wanted to go to the Renaissance Festival with her. So we went yesterday and one of her friends named Megan went with us. She was an okay girl, not a person I would normally hang out with, but she was pretty cool. Well, the drive was only suppost to take us about an hour, but it ended up taking an hour and a half; Jessica kept passing her exits so we would have to keep turning around. It was funny, she would drive past it and be like, "Shit! That was my exit! Damnit!" Good times. Anyway when we finally got there, we walked in and just walked around.

All the women there had their breasts hiked so far up on their chest I was afraid one of them might have passed out. We watched a guy named Manolete, he was so awsome, not to mention pretty good looking. He called his show a 'Naked Show' and he was practically screaming it in his mic to get people to come over. It was hilarious, he had Jessica go up on stage to 'hold his balls' it was so great. Then he ended up giving her a kiss on the cheek. Then he pulled this huge guy up on stage and he had to dress like a girl and get a feather knocked out of his mouth. It was so awsome.

After the 'Naked Show' we went and watched the jousting. That was pretty cool, besides the fact that they would barely hit each other, and they need to work on their punches a little more. But we just played along and had a great time. The spanish guy that was the announcer wasn't bad to look at either.

After the jousting we were looking at the henna tattoos and Jessica just randomly walks off. Megan and I were just kind of standing there not wanting to move so if Jessica did come back she would be able to find us. Well she came back and we were getting ready to leave and this guy come up to us and tells me to hold onto the end of this rope. I was like, "Uh.. Okay, sure why not." Bad Idea. He lead me and Megan to jail... On the way he kept screaming for people to get out of the way and that he had scum coming through. It was pretty funny. We got thrown in jail with at least 20 other people. Then one of the guards came up and asked if anyone wanted revenge. Haha! He had to chase Jessica because she ran! I was laughing so hard when he threw her in jail with us. Yeah... to get out I had to sing the itsy bitsy spider... and dance.

Oh, and I was thrown in jail for being a 'Saucy wench' haha great stuff.

After getting out of jail, we went to go get our henna tattoos and while I was waiting to get mine these two guys were so drunk and they were hitting on us. Well, once they found out I was underage they left me alone. Haha but still tried to invite us into a strip club for a 'bonfire.' Can you say... Moron?

We had a lot of fun though, and on the way home Jessica passed her exit AGAIN.

Next year I'm definitly going to have to get a big group of people to go. It was a total blast.

Hmm, well I suppose thats about it.

Chow =P

Lalalala.... Oh wait... What?!

High School...

Hmm... Today was fun. Day two of my sophmore year. I have to admit, I don't think this year will be that bad. In a lot of my classes I have a lot of awsome people like, Hannah! Becca! and Kerry! Haha, so I think I might actually be able to survive and not have a horrible break down. But, even though I think this year is going to be alright... I still don't want to go back tomorrow. But then again who does?

I've got a horse show Saturday! I'm hoping that we will all do pretty well; I'm actually excited to go to a show. I have to march at the home football game, were better than last year so I don't think it will be a complete screw up. Anyway, I get to leave at half time and stay the night with Rachel in her trailor. Haha SLEEP OVER! Then up at 7am and showing by 8:30. Yeah, I think I'm riding in five classes... Maybe six... I don't remember.

On another note; I'm feeling a lot better about everything. Just in general really, I just feel... Right. Don't you just love the feeling where you're just mellowed out? I love it; everything just doesn't matter and I'm just so zoned out. It's awsome.

I came up with a new moto! I was talking to Brie on the phone and she was talking about this short freshman and if I knew him. Then right on the spot I came up with, "If their tall I notice them, if their short I look over them." That so RoXoRs All of your SoXoRs!

Well, I'm starting to get over the guy I like. I knew nothing would happen, and I guess I'm finally starting to believe it. Then again we barely see each other during school so I think that's a part of it. I met a new guy today out at the barn. I believe his name is Justin... Mmmm.... He is VERY nice (and I mean that in many ways =]). Apparently he's been working out there a lot, even during the summer and I was kind of mad I didn't work on the days he did.

Damn my laziness!!

Oh well, whatever happens... happens.

Life is good... Once again ^.~

My head is pounding... and school starts tomorrow...

Have you ever noticed how fast your life can go from easy and relaxing, to out of control within a couple days time?

All of the Canter horses are gone. Our barn is practically empty. I'm praying that we will find more boarders. Silhouette is like my second home... and I don't want to leave it anytime soon.

"Isn't it such a beautiful day out?" -Summer
"Such a great day!" - Also Summer as they were loading horses

Bitch.

If I ever see her again... She will have a broken nose and a deaf ear.





















































































































Fabulous....

Dun... Dun... Dun.....

Alright everyone... buckle your seat belts and make sure you're comfortable cause I can already tell this is going to be a long post.

Well, I guess I should start out with what is bothering me most. Last night I found out that the Canter open house is being moved from our barn, to some barn out in Mason (Or at least that's what I've been told). I also found out that ALL of the Canter horses are being removed from our barn and taken somewhere else. Well, this puts my barn into a major pickle... My family helped out Silhouette Manor financially after Kelly and Andy left and took over half of the boarders. If all of the Canter horses leave... I don't think we would be able to do it again. It's very frustrating having to deal with Canter, but without them and without boarders our barn will not stay open. Whats really annoying is Silhouette is the biggest facility in the area, with two large arenas and the big cemented barn and they think their going to find somthing better than ours. Ugh... It's Summer's fault, that stupid bitch. She came in after Amelie got hurt and four weeks afterward decides their leaving our barn. Want to know what the reasons were? Well, she was saying nobody was nice to her... and the stalls weren't getting cleaned properly so that why some of them weren't healing correctly or as fast.

News flash Summer! The stalls are cleaned EVERY DAY or EVERY OTHER DAY. Just because you're afraid of the horses and can't deal with the "dangerous" ones in the stall so you can wrap their leg don't blame this on the rest of us. Bitch. Oh and about not being nice... Bull shit! Everyone is nice to you, I introduced myself to you the first day I met you. Gawd!

You know what's even more fucked up?! Gene found a bunch of tranqs and shit sitting in a horses feed bin! And their blaming it on all of us for leaving it there. Oh! And after they tranq the horses they put them outside!! And the other horses beat up on them! And again they blame us for everything!

IM JUST SO FED UP WITH EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DEAL WITH HORSES! I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW! I'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS TO WORRY ABOUT!

Alright next thing on my mind. Well some of you may already know or you might figure it out but I just need to get it out. So if you do figure it out please do not mention anything. Plzkthx. Well, I am just very confused about my... what do you call it.... 'Love Life.' I noticed that I have developed very... strong... feelings for a certain someone. My only problem is... He has a girlfriend. Isn't that just dandy? Well, it's his fault for leading me on in the first place. When his girlfriend is not around he is the biggest flirt, but when shes around hes not. Hmm...

Well, a part of me is trying to tell me that in the future somthing may happen. But then the other part is telling me just to forget about it and push him away. Naturally... I push him away, and it's hard. Every time I try I can't and I just end up forgetting and getting lost in the 'moment' with him. Argh! I can't NOT smile when he's around. It's a proven fact. I'm just so confused and I don't know what to do. I just wish he would leave me alone...

Continuing on... (I told you to get comfortable...)

I had an equestrian meet today. Well... Our team is what you would call.... Interesting... We have four new freshmen and 2 have never showed before. Stunning. Stephanie was there today, she one of the freshmen. Well, she has not cantered or shown before. Plus... her pony is a little nightmare. Then a girl named Michelle tagged along with her and thinks she knows more than she really does. Rachel and I got up on Stephanie's pony and made it look better in about 5 minutes. Then the girl wouldn't even swat at the damned pony cause she was afraid she would hurt it... our first show on Saturday should be... Again... Interesting.

Haha, then the girl that has no show clothes or practically any experience didn't even show up! How fucked up is that?! I really want to make it to Midland again this year... But I have a feeling we might not even get close to winning districts.

Hmm... What else is on my mind..?

Tomorrow I'm going our on a movie day with Frannie. It'll probably be that last time we see each other for a while since school starts Wednesday. I'm excited about it, I'm going to wear some of the new clothes I got yesterday.

Yeah well I guess that about sums up my long post. It is now 10:10 and I started this at like 9:30. Man... Time flys when you're typing out all your frustration.

Whew... I feel better.

Haha, Congrats if you just read that all...

And you suck if you just skipped it >=P

Till my next complaining session ^.~

When the sun goes down

Day one.... 12 hours of my life... Gone. Wasted. Destroyed. Oh well... At least I got to sing Karaoke. ^.~

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Hilary Holland
Birthday:	5/4/90
Birthplace:	A hospital in Lansing... uh Sparrow
Current Location:	In my brothers old room... where the computer now goes
Eye Color:	Hazel... it changes with what I wear
Hair Color:	Blonde
Height:	5'11
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Lefty ^.~
Your Heritage:	Uhm... Im German and Hungarian.. Is that what you mean?
The Shoes You Wore Today:	white and black ones :)
Your Weakness:	Jealousy
Your Fears:	Being alone
Your Perfect Pizza:	Depends on what I want on it that very moment ^^
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	I never set goals, I'll never reach them
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	'hey' and 'whats up?'
Thoughts First Waking Up:	'Its 12 o'clock already?! FUCK!'
Your Best Physical Feature:	Haha... sure thing...
Your Bedtime:	7:30 XD
Your Most Missed Memory:	Old friends...
Pepsi or Coke:	Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Wendys
Single or Group Dates:	Lol, I don't go on dates, I just go to hang out with people
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	how about Gatorade... Hmm? hmm?!
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	*drools* Mmm... Cappuccinoi
Do you Smoke:	I tried it once... disgusting
Do you Swear:	Every other word. I would mouth out a sailor.
Do you Sing:	Like no one is watching :)
Do you Shower Daily:	Nope, every othereek. Lol what the hell do you think?!
Have you Been in Love:	People tell me I was... I don't know what love is, I've never gottan that close to someone.
Do you want to go to College:	Yeah, Me Be ish Smart!
Do you want to get Married:	Sure... why not
Do you belive in yourself:	Honestly..? No... I'm a very negative person
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Never
Do you think you are Attractive:	When no one else is around, but then I get self conscious
Are you a Health Freak:	Nah
Do you get along with your Parents:	Sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Their my favorite, I could stay up all night and just listen.
Do you play an Instrument:	Don't remind me..
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	I wish.
In the past month have you Smoked:	No thank you.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Yeah... cause I'm a druggie haha!
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	I've never been on a date in my life!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yar
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Damn?! A whole box?! Wait.. Oreos come in boxes?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No, but my brother said it was pretty good.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	I DID TODAY! I sang Karaoke with McBride, WE ROCKED!!!
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Hmm... In the past life time have you had a boyfriend? Oh man thats an easy one..
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	HAHAHA I'll spare you the image and just move on.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	*shrugs* Nar
Ever been Drunk:	Close to it
Ever been called a Tease:	Nar
Ever been Beaten up:	Haha.. right..
Ever Shoplifted:	Was going to. Never did it though
How do you want to Die:	<-- Depressing question. How about... How do you want to live?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I dunno... I want to live in my parents house till im 45 then work at McDonalds flipping hamburgers.
What country would you most like to Visit:	Well it used to be Australia... But I kinda want to go somewhere in Europe.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	I don't know, but If they hold their emotions in their eyes thats what I want.
Favourite Hair Color:	Darker, but sometimes I go for the brighter boys.
Short or Long Hair:	Medium... I like the shaggy look.
Height:	Over at LEAST 6'1 cause I'm 5'11 and I REFUSE to date someone shorter than me.
Weight:	I like it when they have a good weight with a good amount of muscle.
Best Clothing Style:	I like them all, from goth to prep. It depends on the guy I guess.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Wtf? Uh.. like medicine drugs or like cocaine drugs?
Number of CDs I own:	Tooo fucking many thats for sure.
Number of Piercings:	2 =) but I want more.
Number of Tattoos:	Zippo
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Way to many.... belive me...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Bowling adventures

W00t! Tonight was a BlAsT!

Well, we started 'band camp' haha and Ski and Matt are fricken hilarious to talk to. McBride already glared at me cause I talked when we were at attention... So I laughed at him... Then he glared again... Hmm... Good times ^-^. Our section actually isn't the worst! That's a first. Well, the freshmen you can tell are a little freaked out, but I can understand why. Then again... Their not the major social bugs either...

Moving on... Frannie came with Tina and her little puppy Hope. Haha! She's bringing me lunch tomorrow Wee! No PB&J for me! Anyway, afterwards Frannie and I went bowling! It was so much fun, I beat her 3/4 times. Lol we got lost on the way home, it was pretty funny. Then we got flipped off by this old grandpa lmao it was great.

I Kick Arse.

There were a lot of hot guys there, and this really hot looking guy came over and started talking with us. Haha... He ended up giving us his cell number. Yar right... Like I would ever call him. Well, he was a whole hell of a lot better than the two creepy guys that were checking us out at the gas station *shudder*. Bowling is great.

Lalala... Gotta get up early tomorrow, and here I am sitting on the computer at 12 o'clock. Yay for me ^.~

Hmmm.... Yeah, I'm not tired at all so I gotta find somthing for myself to do... Haha, I'm gonna be so fucking tired tomorrow.

Mmmm.... yeah.....

I'm so going to miss Frannie this year =(

Lol, alright I will stop my rambling now... Stupid Rachel is rubbing off on me... *Glares at Rachel*

^.^

Sweet....

Yay! Grandmas house!

Two weeks left until school...... Oh boy...

Well, I went to my grandmas house on Wednesday. It was oh-so fun and exciting. Grandpa wasn't feeling well when we got there so I felt that we were imposing a bit, but he began to feel a lot better and we ended up having an awsome time. We went out to see a movie, Wedding Crashers, Haha it was hilarious but kind of awkward to see it with your grandparents... You would understand me if you've seen it. Then we went out to eat every night. I think I gained 10 pounds there because grandma is always trying to stuff things down my throat. HAHA! I beat Eric in monopoly twice! Score! I finally beat him in somthing. (Yes we had to resort to monopoly for entertainment... Nothing wrong with that...).

Hmm... Well, when I got back Gabe was gone. Yeah I found that out today.. But I'm not going to go all freaky and depressed on you.

Lalalala..... Going to Brain freeze tonight to meet up with the other saxophones... to talk about 'band camp'.... how..... stunning....

Well... I spose I'm done.

Pc..

Of course...

I've noticed how everytime I get attached to a horse... Somthing bad always ends up happening. Joanne called yesterday to talk to us about Gabe; things aren't looking to good. Gabes injurys are old and so they have just sat for a long time. During that time... Very strong arthritis has set into his knee... Meaning he might not even be rideable, period.

It really sucks because the final word is from Dr. Stick and from what Jessica has said of him... I'm fucked. Well, Stick gets back today and Summer took in Gabes X-rays yesterday. I have some time to get detached from Gabe to make sure I'm not going to go into a huge depression when they take him to become a plasma donor.

I'm really tired of seeing all of these canter horses being taken and being put down or becoming plasma donors. I hate people that enjoy watching horse races... half of them have NO idea what happens to the horses. They probably end up eating the horse they bet on and not even realize it. If they had just worked Gabe a little less... He would probably be fine today. They worked him too hard and he was just growing too fast...

People make me sick.

Just updating...

Yay for me... I finally decided to update my lovely blog.

Well, fair came and passed. It wasn't to exciting, besides the fact I got to hang out with Rachel the entire time! The bestest person ever haha. Well I'm not really going to sit here and type out everything like Rachel did, so I decided to cheat and just send you to her blog to read it ^.^ http://chicaboom800.blogspot.com/2005/08/mow-cerwe-want-ribbons.html <--- Clicky. Yeah... unfortunatly those are her placings.... not mine. Yeah Rachel definitly kicked my arse when it came to placings. But my horse could beat up her horse any day!

Hmm.. Well nothing interesting has been going on, I've been working with Gabe just in his stall so he can get used to me. He has gotten alot better, for a three year old hes quite calm. Erm... and yeah like I said don't have much going on.

Well I suppose I'm going to just wrap this up and make it short. Cause foods ready... Mmmm... Ham...

HarHar

Chow ^^

CANTER Must Die....

IT'S THE WEEKEND! W00t! I get to sleep in! *Happy sigh* No work for me.. =)

Mmm muh brothers gone... Muh dads sleeping... Mom's off doing somthing... So it's kinda like... I've got the house to myself! And do you know what I am going to do in my 'free time?' Wait you guessed it... ABSOLUTLY NOTHING!

Well, bad things have been happening out at the barn. Perfectly sound horses are being put down, and I've about had it. Jessica called me last night, and I could tell she was almost about ready to break out into tears. From what I understand, Amelie is crippled, yet still deciding the fate of the perfectly sound horses, based on how much she likes the horses. It is absolutly sickening what is happening to these horses and its beginning to make me sick to my stomach thinking about it. Gold Play was taken last night... Didn't come back. North was here this morning... He is now gone as well. It's just so horrible to kill them like this, when there is someone out there that can really love them and take care of them the way they deserve to be treated. Ashahan is next on the list... Mary and Jessica are planning on 'buying' him, but then giving him to Vince.

I'm really nervous that they are going to try and take Gabe. And if they decide to... there's nothing I can do about it since we have nothing on him yet. But you know, if worst come to worst I will just hand-cuff myself to his stall door so they can't get in there. But the vet doesn't come until August because the bastard is on vacation. From what I hear of him, hes a total jerk off. What really make me uneasy is they have to take Gabe to him >.<

yeah okay so I had alot more written but this fawking thing deleted it so yeah >=(


<3 Hil

Haha.... Scrawney Linda.... ha...ha..

Argh!! Right when I was about to write somthing my brother just came and attacked me with a frozen bottle of gatorade.... and to think I was JUST about to write how I was in a surprisingly good mood... hmmph...

Yay, Hilary just got a fortune cookie! It say's... 'Better is the enemy of good.' Er.. I don't get it *scratches head*

Moving on... I had a good day today. It was beautiful out and for once I wasn't scortching when I stepped outside for more than two seconds. Interesting things out at the barn. Well, yesterday Amelie (sp?), the main CANTER girl, got landed on by a horse, fractured both ankles. She had surgery this morning, and is going to be immobile for about a month. Her family is taking her back to... uh... a different state... Anyway, so CANTER is in a huge uproar, and there were two women out there today trying to figure things out and what not. Well this scrawney woman named Linda was showing these two horses to this one girl, and they were free lounging (sp?) one in the indoor arena. Well, I guess the horse didn't want to, and bolted through the doors and straight out the back door.

Not to be mean... but little scrawney Linda looked pretty funny in her panic mode as she was desperately RUNNING for the horse. 1) You don't run after a loose horse... doesn't work out. 2) Its kinda hard to catch a horse by yourself when there are two different ways it could run; you can't block both ways.

So I walked out, after laughing at her of course, and walked up to the horse. She was fine until Linda came running up in a rush and scared her, because then the horse reared and kicked out at her. Once she backed off cause she almost got kicked, AGAIN, I reached up and grabbed the horse by the halter... and just kind of stared at Linda; whom still hadn't calmed down.

Yup... You can just tell they have the most... Qualified... people working for them.


Summer is quickly coming to an end. =( I don't want it to end so fast. I'm not ready to go back to school. For once... I don't have to deal with drama... or stupid people... besides CANTER people... Summer is great! Sleeping in until12, going to bed at three; what could beat that? Usually everyone is all ready to go back to school after two months of summer, but damn people.... get off your asses and do somthing!

Hmm.. Well, Jessica and I are planning a trip to go to Sleepy Hollow for a TRAIL RIDE! W00t! Maybe I can drag Rachel along with us. It'll be great. I'm looking forward to it, the drive over there should be interesting since Jessica has never driven with the horse trailor before.

Alright I guess I'm done rambeling.

Yay for Rachel helping me at the barn tomorrow! I always knew you were my favorite Rach =P

Okay.. Now I really am done.

Ta

Learn Chinese! -School- Xue-xiao (Yay for shitty fortunes from the fortune cookies!)