How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see.
Stop asking me whats wrong. Stop trying to help. You all know nothing and I'm tired of dealing with you. Don't come to me when you have problems, because most likely I won't care. You're all selfish little people that care only about your own problems. I'm tired of helping all of you, then getting nothing in return. Do me a favor and leave me alone.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
-GASP-
Weeeee 6 more days until my birthday ^-^.
Wow, today was interesting... I got a cell phone last night.. Yeah I wasn't suppost to, but the guy that was helping us some how convinced my mom to get me one. I told him he was my new best friend. Man, we were there for four... long... hours; somthing happened when my mom paid the last bill, so over three hours was spent sitting on hold with verizon. I felt bad for the guy that was helping us, he was suppost to leave at seven, haha but he had to stay until nine because of us.
Went to school today all excited with my new cell phone; was messing around with it in first hour, texted my mom, haha and she didn't know what to do so she called me in the middle of first hour. Then, in third hour I got it taken away for the rest of the day. Fabulous.
Man, school needs to be over already, I'm sick of being a freshman... and the people I have to deal with everyday. Being anti-social is just fine with me; as long as I don't have to deal with those annoying people everytime I turn around. I'm just ready for a looooong, warm summer vacation. People are just to emotional, don't want to deal with it; my emotions are enough to drive myself crazy as it is.
Chow ^-^
Wow, today was interesting... I got a cell phone last night.. Yeah I wasn't suppost to, but the guy that was helping us some how convinced my mom to get me one. I told him he was my new best friend. Man, we were there for four... long... hours; somthing happened when my mom paid the last bill, so over three hours was spent sitting on hold with verizon. I felt bad for the guy that was helping us, he was suppost to leave at seven, haha but he had to stay until nine because of us.
Went to school today all excited with my new cell phone; was messing around with it in first hour, texted my mom, haha and she didn't know what to do so she called me in the middle of first hour. Then, in third hour I got it taken away for the rest of the day. Fabulous.
Man, school needs to be over already, I'm sick of being a freshman... and the people I have to deal with everyday. Being anti-social is just fine with me; as long as I don't have to deal with those annoying people everytime I turn around. I'm just ready for a looooong, warm summer vacation. People are just to emotional, don't want to deal with it; my emotions are enough to drive myself crazy as it is.
Chow ^-^
~Hilary's Birthday Count Down: 6 days left~
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Over Dramatics
Wow having too much free time is beginning to suck..
You know you have a horrible life when you are constantly thinking of the pros and cons of the smallest things. Not even always pros and cons but the 'what ifs'. Ugh.. I'm constantly thinking of those damned What Ifs. I like this one kid, and we will just call him Bob for now (haha original is it not?). Anyway Bob sometimes rides our bus home, and hes in my bio class. I have a tendency to... look a lot; if he's in the room or walking past me I look, everytime. I think that Bob has began to notice these.. 'looks' and is starting to look also. But then I get that feeling like, Oh well okay maybe I won't be a loner the rest of my life. As time goes on I begin to think about it more, and the what ifs start to appear. For instance; What if he thinks I'm annoying, or stupid because I keep looking at him. Or; What if the reason he didn't walk with me and Amber is because he wanted to ask her somthing..? >.< I hate that, I like to tell myself I don't care, and whatever he thinks if bullshit to me, but I always end up questioning myself...
The worse feeling ever, is the feeling where you know theres somthing you'll never find out. I'm really just left in the dust completley; before I wanted to not care... I told myself to hell with them. But even then I never noticed that tiny thought in the back of my head... Just wondering or questioning my actions. Man... I need a vacation, or to learn to 'clear my mind'. Haha, or just get somthing to do...
Ciao... or Chow (I'll make it easy just for you Beccar's haha ^-^)
My new, FULL, name is: Hooked on Phonics Naughty Toes Long Thumb...
(Haha yes to first hour)
You know you have a horrible life when you are constantly thinking of the pros and cons of the smallest things. Not even always pros and cons but the 'what ifs'. Ugh.. I'm constantly thinking of those damned What Ifs. I like this one kid, and we will just call him Bob for now (haha original is it not?). Anyway Bob sometimes rides our bus home, and hes in my bio class. I have a tendency to... look a lot; if he's in the room or walking past me I look, everytime. I think that Bob has began to notice these.. 'looks' and is starting to look also. But then I get that feeling like, Oh well okay maybe I won't be a loner the rest of my life. As time goes on I begin to think about it more, and the what ifs start to appear. For instance; What if he thinks I'm annoying, or stupid because I keep looking at him. Or; What if the reason he didn't walk with me and Amber is because he wanted to ask her somthing..? >.< I hate that, I like to tell myself I don't care, and whatever he thinks if bullshit to me, but I always end up questioning myself...
The worse feeling ever, is the feeling where you know theres somthing you'll never find out. I'm really just left in the dust completley; before I wanted to not care... I told myself to hell with them. But even then I never noticed that tiny thought in the back of my head... Just wondering or questioning my actions. Man... I need a vacation, or to learn to 'clear my mind'. Haha, or just get somthing to do...
Ciao... or Chow (I'll make it easy just for you Beccar's haha ^-^)
My new, FULL, name is: Hooked on Phonics Naughty Toes Long Thumb...
(Haha yes to first hour)
Monday, April 25, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Bah >.<
I think I am one of the most unlucky people when it comes to trying to find another horse when it comes to horse shopping...
Well, today was the CANTER open house out at my barn. Got there and waited around for like an hour before I could get up onto the first horse, Deduct Box (retarded name isnt it?) and I think that was such a waste of time, he was constantly throwing his head and being retarded. Well the girl was just like, "Oh well, he just needs to get his teeth done..." Right..... Plus while I was WAITING to ride him, this other girl was practically glued to his stall door, and everytime I passed by she gave me this nasty glare... haha, my horse would own her horse in anything. After that, we were getting ready to go home, and this woman walks and was saying, "Oh well you should ride ballistic, hes such a good horse he would be perfect for you blah blah.." So we go and ask if they could get him out, I don't think they were to thrilled seeing as the open house was already 20 minutes over... So they go and get him, then a bunch of people keep coming up to me saying how he has such good blood lines, and he won so much money when he was racing. We finally get into the arena after I did the fake laugh and smile to a million people acting like I was really listening to them. The girl gets up and rides him for like 30 minutes, and only a trot. Then I get up and WHAT A SPAZ. I had to do half halts every two seconds or I would have been down into the dirt, not to mention the little skinny girls saddle was to small >.< stupid skinny girl..
Ugh.. I hate horse shopping, I think I'm to most unlucky person when it comes to that. I'm either, not good enough as a rider, the horse is to spazztic, hurt its legs, retarded forever, or to short... *sigh* I should just get a motorcycle and glue a horse head to the front, then a tail on the back. Then show it in classes haha, that would be awsome.
You know what else sucks?! I MISSED the Blue Collar Comedy marathon!! Grrr!!! I waited ALL WEEK to watch it, and I missed it.... FAB-U-LUS...... just absolutly peachy... Jessica I knew I should have come and distracted you at work....
Until another time... Or until I get bored and have nothing else to do... Ciao
Well, today was the CANTER open house out at my barn. Got there and waited around for like an hour before I could get up onto the first horse, Deduct Box (retarded name isnt it?) and I think that was such a waste of time, he was constantly throwing his head and being retarded. Well the girl was just like, "Oh well, he just needs to get his teeth done..." Right..... Plus while I was WAITING to ride him, this other girl was practically glued to his stall door, and everytime I passed by she gave me this nasty glare... haha, my horse would own her horse in anything. After that, we were getting ready to go home, and this woman walks and was saying, "Oh well you should ride ballistic, hes such a good horse he would be perfect for you blah blah.." So we go and ask if they could get him out, I don't think they were to thrilled seeing as the open house was already 20 minutes over... So they go and get him, then a bunch of people keep coming up to me saying how he has such good blood lines, and he won so much money when he was racing. We finally get into the arena after I did the fake laugh and smile to a million people acting like I was really listening to them. The girl gets up and rides him for like 30 minutes, and only a trot. Then I get up and WHAT A SPAZ. I had to do half halts every two seconds or I would have been down into the dirt, not to mention the little skinny girls saddle was to small >.< stupid skinny girl..
Ugh.. I hate horse shopping, I think I'm to most unlucky person when it comes to that. I'm either, not good enough as a rider, the horse is to spazztic, hurt its legs, retarded forever, or to short... *sigh* I should just get a motorcycle and glue a horse head to the front, then a tail on the back. Then show it in classes haha, that would be awsome.
You know what else sucks?! I MISSED the Blue Collar Comedy marathon!! Grrr!!! I waited ALL WEEK to watch it, and I missed it.... FAB-U-LUS...... just absolutly peachy... Jessica I knew I should have come and distracted you at work....
Until another time... Or until I get bored and have nothing else to do... Ciao
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Feels like a hangover..
Ugh.. note to self... when working in morning, go to sleep night before.. not early morning...
Oh man, the plauge has come back to me again, but the thing that sucks is I'm not really sick. I just eat somthing, get sick, feel like shit the entire day. Oh well, I guess that's just because I'm so lucky..
Well, this week sucked, as usual. I'm glad it's finally over, it just seemed to drag on forever. Olivia is being a bitch, she keeps saying stuff about everyone to me behind their backs. So I'm assuming she's saying things about me. But whatever, so I told her to get over it and that were different people then when we started out high school. Man she's just having a hard time accepting it.
You know, I had so much stuff to write in here, and now I can't remember anything I was going to put in here... SO I'LL JUST PUT IN RANDOM STUFF! YAY
You are a Mermaid, who sits on a rock in
the sea, looking and watching all humanity with
curiosity in your eyes. You have a two-sided
personality! On one hand, you revel in your
freedom and often prefer to live in your own
private dreams.
Oh man, the plauge has come back to me again, but the thing that sucks is I'm not really sick. I just eat somthing, get sick, feel like shit the entire day. Oh well, I guess that's just because I'm so lucky..
Well, this week sucked, as usual. I'm glad it's finally over, it just seemed to drag on forever. Olivia is being a bitch, she keeps saying stuff about everyone to me behind their backs. So I'm assuming she's saying things about me. But whatever, so I told her to get over it and that were different people then when we started out high school. Man she's just having a hard time accepting it.
You know, I had so much stuff to write in here, and now I can't remember anything I was going to put in here... SO I'LL JUST PUT IN RANDOM STUFF! YAY
You are a Mermaid, who sits on a rock in
the sea, looking and watching all humanity with
curiosity in your eyes. You have a two-sided
personality! On one hand, you revel in your
freedom and often prefer to live in your own
private dreams.
On the other hand, humanity
intrigues you and you love watching on. You are
actually very kind at heart, hating to see
people hurt and despise injustice! You probably
have one or two special friends, who mean the
world to you!
Also; you are probably quite
political, wanting to see justice done in the
world.
You are quite the dreamer, needing
freedom and personal space to dream your little
dreams. You love to escape into a book or some
good music and just drift away.
Some of your
good points are that you are sensitive,
compassionate and a freethinker. Your bad
points are that you may come across as cool and
aloof to others and probably have a tendency to
depression!
You are the ultimate dreamer with
a kind, but troubled heart!
Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)
brought to you by
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Is it bad to have to much time on your hands?
Well lately I've been getting told I have to much free time. It's not necessarily a bad thing is it? The only reason I have all this time is because I've become anti-social, and don't really care about many things. Yeah I mean I go out and ride my horse, but thats about it. I sit home all afternoon, and yet I still never get my homework done. Okay, so I admit that I have become lazier than normal, but I find nothing wrong with it. Maybe all of you are just TO busy, yeah and you're just jealous of my free time. So I think now I'll just say that to everyone. "Gee Hilary, you've definitly got to much free time." Then I'll say, "Damn right I do! And boy am I going to do ABSOLUTLY NOTHING and still be fucking awsome in the process!!" You know, I think I just rock my world haha, t00 c00l f0r sch00l!
Yesterday was 'National Get High day!' Yeah I didn't get high. I had the opportunity to, but I gracefully declined. Instead I came home and slept for four hours (see lots of free time to catch up my sleep since I don't go to bed till 12). I didn't mind though, then I got ahead in the new book were reading in English, that book about bees or whatever, good book though.
Last night, Emily and I were talking and you know what she said to me? Well she was saying how we were all changing and moving on to different people, but then shes like, "No matter what we always have to be like this. And we always have to remember all of our inside jokes." I was like aww, Olivia doesn't like the idea of us moving apart, but she needs to get over herself. It's so hard right now, I mean I'm at that point in my life where I'm trying to figure out who I am, and I never realized high school would be like this. It's so hard to fit in the way you want, or to change after you've been a certain way for so long. People always have a hard time accepting you when you're different from what they've known for so long.
'Get off my back I need my space,
Don't cover my eyes or the rest of my face.
You don't own me stop holding my hand...'
Well lately I've been getting told I have to much free time. It's not necessarily a bad thing is it? The only reason I have all this time is because I've become anti-social, and don't really care about many things. Yeah I mean I go out and ride my horse, but thats about it. I sit home all afternoon, and yet I still never get my homework done. Okay, so I admit that I have become lazier than normal, but I find nothing wrong with it. Maybe all of you are just TO busy, yeah and you're just jealous of my free time. So I think now I'll just say that to everyone. "Gee Hilary, you've definitly got to much free time." Then I'll say, "Damn right I do! And boy am I going to do ABSOLUTLY NOTHING and still be fucking awsome in the process!!" You know, I think I just rock my world haha, t00 c00l f0r sch00l!
Yesterday was 'National Get High day!' Yeah I didn't get high. I had the opportunity to, but I gracefully declined. Instead I came home and slept for four hours (see lots of free time to catch up my sleep since I don't go to bed till 12). I didn't mind though, then I got ahead in the new book were reading in English, that book about bees or whatever, good book though.
Last night, Emily and I were talking and you know what she said to me? Well she was saying how we were all changing and moving on to different people, but then shes like, "No matter what we always have to be like this. And we always have to remember all of our inside jokes." I was like aww, Olivia doesn't like the idea of us moving apart, but she needs to get over herself. It's so hard right now, I mean I'm at that point in my life where I'm trying to figure out who I am, and I never realized high school would be like this. It's so hard to fit in the way you want, or to change after you've been a certain way for so long. People always have a hard time accepting you when you're different from what they've known for so long.
'Get off my back I need my space,
Don't cover my eyes or the rest of my face.
You don't own me stop holding my hand...'
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Name Game
Taxi Driver Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
If anyone can pronounce it, you will be called:
Gckstÿkkkhanatuk Kennedy
Pirate Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
We'll now call ye:
Pirate Mary the Disgruntled
Gangsta Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
I now dub your ass:
Green Egg Gat Slinga
Mafia Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
We'll now call ya:
Ol' Carla Hankypants
Oh this next ones good..
Cutesy Pet Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
Endearing pet name:
Naughty Toes
Usage: "Awww, did my little Naughty Toes have a rough day at work?"
LMAO! That ones definitly my favorite.
Old name: Hilary
If anyone can pronounce it, you will be called:
Gckstÿkkkhanatuk Kennedy
Pirate Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
We'll now call ye:
Pirate Mary the Disgruntled
Gangsta Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
I now dub your ass:
Green Egg Gat Slinga
Mafia Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
We'll now call ya:
Ol' Carla Hankypants
Oh this next ones good..
Cutesy Pet Name Generator:
Old name: Hilary
Endearing pet name:
Naughty Toes
Usage: "Awww, did my little Naughty Toes have a rough day at work?"
LMAO! That ones definitly my favorite.
Haha Silly Calvin ^-^
Sweetiehh4000: oh i feel sick
DuskToTwilight: why
Sweetiehh4000: i dont know
Sweetiehh4000: my stomach hurts
DuskToTwilight: Menstrating attracts bears
Sweetiehh4000: lol
Sweetiehh4000: should i be prepared for that?
DuskToTwilight: yes
Sweetiehh4000: haha
DuskToTwilight: big bears..
DuskToTwilight: with sharp pointy teeth
Sweetiehh4000: exactly how do i get these big bears to go away
DuskToTwilight: Grow a penis
Sweetiehh4000: lmao
Sweetiehh4000: uhuh..
DuskToTwilight: its the only way!
Sweetiehh4000: or
Sweetiehh4000: i could shoot the bastard
Sweetiehh4000: ^_^
DuskToTwilight: theirs thousands of them!
DuskToTwilight: with thick fur!
Sweetiehh4000: well
Sweetiehh4000: ill trap them
Sweetiehh4000: in a huge cage
DuskToTwilight: that wont work
Sweetiehh4000: then shave off their fur
DuskToTwilight: dont you get it
Sweetiehh4000: apparently not
Sweetiehh4000: ..
DuskToTwilight: these bears are smart!
DuskToTwilight: I had to fight one once..
DuskToTwilight: it was trying to get to tori
DuskToTwilight: I almost died!
Sweetiehh4000: no kidding....
DuskToTwilight: but I managed to kill it
DuskToTwilight: I lost a leg
Sweetiehh4000: and how was that?
DuskToTwilight: I jumped on its back and put him in a sleeper hold
DuskToTwilight: and then I Slit the bears neck
Sweetiehh4000: ahh
Sweetiehh4000: what about its bear friends?
DuskToTwilight: It fell apart from the clan
DuskToTwilight: you'll find solo bears here and there
DuskToTwilight: but normally they all work together
Sweetiehh4000: i see
Sweetiehh4000: well then
Sweetiehh4000: besides 'growing' a penis what should i so
Sweetiehh4000: do*
DuskToTwilight: stop having your period?
Sweetiehh4000: i wish
DuskToTwilight: or come live with me and ill protect you
Sweetiehh4000: im annoying
Sweetiehh4000: you might not survive
DuskToTwilight: nah
DuskToTwilight: All my friends are really annoying..and you're not annoying ^_^
Sweetiehh4000: im loud, annoying, complain and whine alot
DuskToTwilight: thats because your Taurus
Sweetiehh4000: if i dont get my way im pissed at you
DuskToTwilight: but thats okay
Sweetiehh4000: lol
DuskToTwilight: I can handle you ^_^
DuskToTwilight: Psh
DuskToTwilight: Im Aries
DuskToTwilight: its alawys going to be my way
Sweetiehh4000: psh
Sweetiehh4000: like hell
DuskToTwilight: Im better then you
DuskToTwilight: at least
DuskToTwilight: I dont attract fucking bears
Sweetiehh4000: LOL
Sweetiehh4000: i should tame the bears
Sweetiehh4000: and take over the world
DuskToTwilight: you cant tame them
Sweetiehh4000: fuck you
DuskToTwilight: they'll eat your vagina and then you
Sweetiehh4000: eww
Sweetiehh4000: EWWW
DuskToTwilight: why
Sweetiehh4000: i dont know
Sweetiehh4000: my stomach hurts
DuskToTwilight: Menstrating attracts bears
Sweetiehh4000: lol
Sweetiehh4000: should i be prepared for that?
DuskToTwilight: yes
Sweetiehh4000: haha
DuskToTwilight: big bears..
DuskToTwilight: with sharp pointy teeth
Sweetiehh4000: exactly how do i get these big bears to go away
DuskToTwilight: Grow a penis
Sweetiehh4000: lmao
Sweetiehh4000: uhuh..
DuskToTwilight: its the only way!
Sweetiehh4000: or
Sweetiehh4000: i could shoot the bastard
Sweetiehh4000: ^_^
DuskToTwilight: theirs thousands of them!
DuskToTwilight: with thick fur!
Sweetiehh4000: well
Sweetiehh4000: ill trap them
Sweetiehh4000: in a huge cage
DuskToTwilight: that wont work
Sweetiehh4000: then shave off their fur
DuskToTwilight: dont you get it
Sweetiehh4000: apparently not
Sweetiehh4000: ..
DuskToTwilight: these bears are smart!
DuskToTwilight: I had to fight one once..
DuskToTwilight: it was trying to get to tori
DuskToTwilight: I almost died!
Sweetiehh4000: no kidding....
DuskToTwilight: but I managed to kill it
DuskToTwilight: I lost a leg
Sweetiehh4000: and how was that?
DuskToTwilight: I jumped on its back and put him in a sleeper hold
DuskToTwilight: and then I Slit the bears neck
Sweetiehh4000: ahh
Sweetiehh4000: what about its bear friends?
DuskToTwilight: It fell apart from the clan
DuskToTwilight: you'll find solo bears here and there
DuskToTwilight: but normally they all work together
Sweetiehh4000: i see
Sweetiehh4000: well then
Sweetiehh4000: besides 'growing' a penis what should i so
Sweetiehh4000: do*
DuskToTwilight: stop having your period?
Sweetiehh4000: i wish
DuskToTwilight: or come live with me and ill protect you
Sweetiehh4000: im annoying
Sweetiehh4000: you might not survive
DuskToTwilight: nah
DuskToTwilight: All my friends are really annoying..and you're not annoying ^_^
Sweetiehh4000: im loud, annoying, complain and whine alot
DuskToTwilight: thats because your Taurus
Sweetiehh4000: if i dont get my way im pissed at you
DuskToTwilight: but thats okay
Sweetiehh4000: lol
DuskToTwilight: I can handle you ^_^
DuskToTwilight: Psh
DuskToTwilight: Im Aries
DuskToTwilight: its alawys going to be my way
Sweetiehh4000: psh
Sweetiehh4000: like hell
DuskToTwilight: Im better then you
DuskToTwilight: at least
DuskToTwilight: I dont attract fucking bears
Sweetiehh4000: LOL
Sweetiehh4000: i should tame the bears
Sweetiehh4000: and take over the world
DuskToTwilight: you cant tame them
Sweetiehh4000: fuck you
DuskToTwilight: they'll eat your vagina and then you
Sweetiehh4000: eww
Sweetiehh4000: EWWW
Monday, April 18, 2005
Okay wow, today was awsome!
Well, pretty much 6am to 6th hour toatlly sucked, but yah know thats just normal. Anyway, Amber and I went out to go get a pop during 6th hour, and we didn't want to go back in so we were just hanging out in the hall for a little while. Well while we were waiting we say this really young looking couple walking around, and then into the art room. Well Amber made the comment about the girl looking really, really young (they were walking around with a baby). Well anywho, they walked into the art room and coach was sitting at our table, so they had walked over there. When I got there the guy just looked so familiar but I didn't say anything, but then he said his sons name and then Molka. Then it hit me, so I looked around over to his name tag and was like.... "Mackenzie..?" and he looks at me and goes... "Could it be... Erics little sister?!"
I couldn't believe it! Mackenzie Molka, the guy Mike, Eric and I all used to go to the gas station with to get Shasta pops and Burritos, or sit in garbage bag pools or even play Drink a Drink with. It's was so hard to see Mac as a father way back then, but now he really is and he's the same in so many ways, but.. so different. He's grown up and has a 5 month old kid, it really does seem like time flys. Like just yesterday, I think I mentioned him and then today he shows up. Haha, I remember I always had the biggest crush on him.
Wow, time really does go by fast when you look back on it.
Don't let good times pass you by.
Well, pretty much 6am to 6th hour toatlly sucked, but yah know thats just normal. Anyway, Amber and I went out to go get a pop during 6th hour, and we didn't want to go back in so we were just hanging out in the hall for a little while. Well while we were waiting we say this really young looking couple walking around, and then into the art room. Well Amber made the comment about the girl looking really, really young (they were walking around with a baby). Well anywho, they walked into the art room and coach was sitting at our table, so they had walked over there. When I got there the guy just looked so familiar but I didn't say anything, but then he said his sons name and then Molka. Then it hit me, so I looked around over to his name tag and was like.... "Mackenzie..?" and he looks at me and goes... "Could it be... Erics little sister?!"
I couldn't believe it! Mackenzie Molka, the guy Mike, Eric and I all used to go to the gas station with to get Shasta pops and Burritos, or sit in garbage bag pools or even play Drink a Drink with. It's was so hard to see Mac as a father way back then, but now he really is and he's the same in so many ways, but.. so different. He's grown up and has a 5 month old kid, it really does seem like time flys. Like just yesterday, I think I mentioned him and then today he shows up. Haha, I remember I always had the biggest crush on him.
Wow, time really does go by fast when you look back on it.
Don't let good times pass you by.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
"I'm lying to myself and this daggers my excuse."
Ugh.. I need a vacation...
I've come up with a plan. Jessica Whitehurst and I are going to fly to Australia for a really long vacation, then were going to meet some hot aussies and have a party. But then when things seem to be going fabulous, it's going to get even better. Well, Keith Urban is just going to... show up and were going to tie him up and bring him home. So how does that sounds? Lying on the beach all day, watching hot aussies surf and run around in swim trunks... That's what I call a vacation.
Anyway, eight more weeks of school left. I can't wait until this school year ends, I think I'm going to throw a huge party and invite like everyone over. Well no... I'll just sit and home and do nothing. Yeah that sounds like the ideal thing to do, people are annoying... No party for them.
Well, I started a new bad habit. I know I probably shouldn't be putting this in here but I don't want to put it in my one in my room. For about two months now, I don't know why I do it. For some reason it just seems right, although I know differently. I've only told one person, and I'm glad I did because now, it may sound stupid, but it feels like I have the strength to stop it. But I still get the feeling, where my body just... just wants it. It's hard though.. you know... trying to hide somthing from people you care about. I think that's why I'm putting this in here, I'm too afraid to tell my friends face to face so when they read this they can understand, or at least know whats happening.
Okay, well I guess I'm done whining.
One more day Calvin! Till the big 1-7!
Later dayz
I've come up with a plan. Jessica Whitehurst and I are going to fly to Australia for a really long vacation, then were going to meet some hot aussies and have a party. But then when things seem to be going fabulous, it's going to get even better. Well, Keith Urban is just going to... show up and were going to tie him up and bring him home. So how does that sounds? Lying on the beach all day, watching hot aussies surf and run around in swim trunks... That's what I call a vacation.
Anyway, eight more weeks of school left. I can't wait until this school year ends, I think I'm going to throw a huge party and invite like everyone over. Well no... I'll just sit and home and do nothing. Yeah that sounds like the ideal thing to do, people are annoying... No party for them.
Well, I started a new bad habit. I know I probably shouldn't be putting this in here but I don't want to put it in my one in my room. For about two months now, I don't know why I do it. For some reason it just seems right, although I know differently. I've only told one person, and I'm glad I did because now, it may sound stupid, but it feels like I have the strength to stop it. But I still get the feeling, where my body just... just wants it. It's hard though.. you know... trying to hide somthing from people you care about. I think that's why I'm putting this in here, I'm too afraid to tell my friends face to face so when they read this they can understand, or at least know whats happening.
Okay, well I guess I'm done whining.
One more day Calvin! Till the big 1-7!
Later dayz
Saturday, April 16, 2005
I had a talk with myself today,
Just to see what I had to say.
I said I'm tired, I said I'm weak,
I said it loud although I could hardly speak.
My thoughts came out in a silent hush,
Throughout my mind my words did rush.
Along with the most silent cry,
That tries to hide the urge to die.
I spoke of a silence no longer there,
And how it seems like no one cares.
A lost tomorrow in all my dreams,
I said it loud enough although it seems...
I had a talk with myself today,
But no one heard what I had to say.
Just to see what I had to say.
I said I'm tired, I said I'm weak,
I said it loud although I could hardly speak.
My thoughts came out in a silent hush,
Throughout my mind my words did rush.
Along with the most silent cry,
That tries to hide the urge to die.
I spoke of a silence no longer there,
And how it seems like no one cares.
A lost tomorrow in all my dreams,
I said it loud enough although it seems...
I had a talk with myself today,
But no one heard what I had to say.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Our Country 
Okay, now let me explain this lovely drawing here. In Global studies, we are being forced to run a country, and in the process we have to decide what type or government, religion and all that important stuff that goes along with a country. As you may see, our country is neatly surrounded by barbed wire. Yes, there will be no escape from our country, Muah! Anyways, our government basically takes other governments by force, cause a large war. The citizens of our country will be living in the smaller portion at the bottom where you see the locked gate. The happy people of our country will be living in nice cozy tents, on a comfy dirt ground. There will be guard towers stationed all along the civilian perimeter, with gunmen in each one, to provide the safty our fine country needs. They have a fabulous dirty drinking hole for water, and a rotten muffin stand, each muffin costing them $10. If the citizens are bad, our punishment for them is to set their tent on fire.
Now moving up to the northern section of the land. This is where myself, and my fellow leaders will lodge. We have a nice castle (er... factory looking thing) with four large towers, one for each of us. As you may also be able to see there is a lovely lake behind the castle, along with a fountain providing us with beautiful scenery. And yes, the ground is a fresh ripe green color. To provide more saftey for the castle, a mote has been dug and crocs added. A lovely stable is at the east side of the property, which holds many well trained horses.
So yeah, we have a very well planned out country, which provides our people everything they need.
Picture drawn by Hilary, Chad, Becca, and Jamie. !st Hour ^-^
Okay, now let me explain this lovely drawing here. In Global studies, we are being forced to run a country, and in the process we have to decide what type or government, religion and all that important stuff that goes along with a country. As you may see, our country is neatly surrounded by barbed wire. Yes, there will be no escape from our country, Muah! Anyways, our government basically takes other governments by force, cause a large war. The citizens of our country will be living in the smaller portion at the bottom where you see the locked gate. The happy people of our country will be living in nice cozy tents, on a comfy dirt ground. There will be guard towers stationed all along the civilian perimeter, with gunmen in each one, to provide the safty our fine country needs. They have a fabulous dirty drinking hole for water, and a rotten muffin stand, each muffin costing them $10. If the citizens are bad, our punishment for them is to set their tent on fire.
Now moving up to the northern section of the land. This is where myself, and my fellow leaders will lodge. We have a nice castle (er... factory looking thing) with four large towers, one for each of us. As you may also be able to see there is a lovely lake behind the castle, along with a fountain providing us with beautiful scenery. And yes, the ground is a fresh ripe green color. To provide more saftey for the castle, a mote has been dug and crocs added. A lovely stable is at the east side of the property, which holds many well trained horses.
So yeah, we have a very well planned out country, which provides our people everything they need.
Picture drawn by Hilary, Chad, Becca, and Jamie. !st Hour ^-^
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Finishing the random
Weee! My perfect little show horse is back! She's finally starting to act like she used to and not like a complete bitch!
Anyway, Becca, in the govt. paper, we could put in there about how there are no trials, like if they don't measure up to a certain standard then they get executed! 'Guilty until killed' <- that can be out motto! So yeah, lately its been uneventful, as you may be able to tell from my random little posts of pictured. Although I have become a true anime addict. Yes... I have crossed over to the dark side.... And damnit it's gonna ROCK!
Anyway, Becca, in the govt. paper, we could put in there about how there are no trials, like if they don't measure up to a certain standard then they get executed! 'Guilty until killed' <- that can be out motto! So yeah, lately its been uneventful, as you may be able to tell from my random little posts of pictured. Although I have become a true anime addict. Yes... I have crossed over to the dark side.... And damnit it's gonna ROCK!
Cut-Short
Ah, another beautiful day in the lovely little state called Michigan.
Today is day two of the return from my non-social, very lonely spring break. Today I noticed that since school first started that I've really been starting to half-ass my work. No big deal, I always manage to pull off a 4.0 in all my classes. Yes I know... this post really doesn't have much meaning but I thought I would just write somthing in here. But my evil standing-in-the-door-way-staring-bug-eyed mother is cutting my post short because I have a lesson soon. So I guess I'll just have to finish when I get home.
Ciao till later
Today is day two of the return from my non-social, very lonely spring break. Today I noticed that since school first started that I've really been starting to half-ass my work. No big deal, I always manage to pull off a 4.0 in all my classes. Yes I know... this post really doesn't have much meaning but I thought I would just write somthing in here. But my evil standing-in-the-door-way-staring-bug-eyed mother is cutting my post short because I have a lesson soon. So I guess I'll just have to finish when I get home.
Ciao till later
Monday, April 11, 2005
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Easy Killer
You are a maniac killer.
It doesn't matter who they are and what they
have or haven't done. You still want to kill
them. And for a simple reason only; it's fun.
Seeing people in pain is like ecstasy. Maybe
you have some sort of mental problems or you
are this way because of previous deep scars,
only you know. But now you are sadistic and
maybe you only like to see a special group of
people be in pain (e.g. preps). However you are
not the most social person in the bunch and
people think you are weird. That bothers you
somewhat but atleast you can entertain yourself
with daydreaming about killing them. After all,
they have no idea what's coming.
Main weapon: Explosives and torture
equpiment
Quote: "Insanity: a perfect
rational adjustment to an insane world" -
R.D. Lang
Facial expression: Wicked smile
What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
Friday, April 01, 2005
Nothing from nowhere. I am no one at all.
"I'm flowing through these days. As morphine tears through deadened veins, I'm numbing."
People are selfish, I know I've said that so many times, but each time I say it, it just becomes more clear in my mind. Why is it, you will say things that make you feel better? Do you not care about how other people feel? I really am ready to just close myself into my house, and never come out. I think I'm going to forget everyone I've ever gotten close to and only care about myself. What does it matter? Who will actually miss me?
Just sit and think for a minute; have you in this past week, bragged about somthing you didn't actually do or have? Lied to someone saying things are better than they seem? Told someone somthing they wanted to hear so they wouldn't judge you? Well if you have, stop. Screw people, if you have to tell them somthing untrue about yourself then you're a coward. Stand up and be you; dye your hair blue, get a bunch of piercings, wear somthing you normally wouldn't. Don't let other people make you feel afraid to be the real you. I realized, I have let to many people walk over me; let to many people use me to make them feel better about their own unperfect lives. Well all I have to say is this; Watch out, Hilary's had enough.
People are selfish, I know I've said that so many times, but each time I say it, it just becomes more clear in my mind. Why is it, you will say things that make you feel better? Do you not care about how other people feel? I really am ready to just close myself into my house, and never come out. I think I'm going to forget everyone I've ever gotten close to and only care about myself. What does it matter? Who will actually miss me?
Just sit and think for a minute; have you in this past week, bragged about somthing you didn't actually do or have? Lied to someone saying things are better than they seem? Told someone somthing they wanted to hear so they wouldn't judge you? Well if you have, stop. Screw people, if you have to tell them somthing untrue about yourself then you're a coward. Stand up and be you; dye your hair blue, get a bunch of piercings, wear somthing you normally wouldn't. Don't let other people make you feel afraid to be the real you. I realized, I have let to many people walk over me; let to many people use me to make them feel better about their own unperfect lives. Well all I have to say is this; Watch out, Hilary's had enough.
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