Tuesday. Nothing happens on Tuesday. I skipped work this morning, because I REALLY didn't want to go. Mom was pissed at me, but whatever I don't care. The new seretary they just recently hired, Amy, was fired. I feel bad for her, she went out to buy all new clothes for this job because all she had was suits. Apparently she wasn't qualified enough for the job, and on the simpliest tasks would ask for help from Jayne. But since they fired her... I have to start working at the front desk again. The thing I hate the most at the horrid job, I have to do my last week. Bah.

So State show was this weekend. It was a complete, and utter disaster. We trailor down on Saturday night, and Nightingale was absolutely disgusting. I was embarassed to walk with her she was so dirty. Didn't leave that night until around 9:30-10. Got home, stayed up till 11. Passed out. Got up early on Sunday and drove down. I was excited when I got there because for once, in all show history, she had stayed clean. So we hang around, and the show is moving at a damn snail pace. 3-4 classes before mine I tack her up and go warm her up. She felt and looked fantastic. I was so pumped up, and I knew we would actually have a chance in these classes. With my hopes high I take her back into the barn and wait for my class. Jessica came to help support me, and I was happy she came. A class before mine, I get her back out and go to warm her up again.... to find she was lame. I couldn't believe it. She was perfectly fine going one way, but the instant you changed her bend she was off. Everything hope I had, was crushed. We wouldn't have any chance, not at this show. Jessica got on, and figured out she would limp less if I counter bent her in one difection. I tried it.. Yeah it worked, but was I going to be able to keep that up for my four classes? We went into the first class, and in my split there were 19 other riders. I think every single girl in the arena was wrenching, and pulling on their horses mouths the entire time the class went on. Then! THEY all placed! It was to most unfair judging I have ever seen in my life! I gave up and went home. Not only was I not going to have a chance the entire day if he was placing like that, but I didn't want to hurt my horse even more.

I feel like I could sleep for the entire week, and just not do anything. That's the kind of mood I'm in. I just want to hide, and be left alone :[

[[What if I wanted to fight ]]
[[Beg for the rest of my life ]]
[[What would you do? ]]
[[You say you wanted more ]]
[[What are you waiting for ]]
[[I'm not running from you]]

Ciao.