Let me close my eyes... and make it all stop...

Time out... just freeze everything...

The very first full week of summer vacation is coming to an end. But even though it's only the first week it seems like it is just going by at such a rapid speed. I suddenly feel sufficated and overwhelmed with things that I can't even identify. No matter what I do it continues to feel that way. Trying to relax for a day, or getting out and doing somthing it just won't slow down. It is kind of scary, I'm only 15 but in one more year I'll have my drivers licence, then two years after that I'll be out of high school and will be an 'adult.' I guess I'm just afraid of the inevitable, but I mean... everyone is at one point or another right?

'It's a weird world... and it won't slow down...'

My dog Wilson caught a baby bird today. I felt so bad for it, I finally got him to drop it, then I carried it to the backyard. It was shaking and shivering, then it just stared up at me, then it died. I remember when my cat died, I called my grandma for comfort, and I remember her saying somthing about the reason pets were put onto this earth. She said somthing like, "I believe the Lord put them here to prepare us for death. He knew we would become attached to them and feel pain when they passed."

My first show is coming up next Sunday. I don't want to go, showing just doesn't interest me this year. Of course I was basically forced to show, its my parents 'vacation' at the same time as my 'trip to hell.' I hate showing, whats the point of it? So little girls can run around and act prissy cause they just got first and their horse cost them as much as a damned house? No thanks.... I'd rather go on a real vacation.

Early today was fun though. Went out to the barn and rode, then hung out with Jessica for half the afternoon. Her mom bought us pizza because we cleaned the barn for her. I'm so jealous of Jessica because she gets to have a pen-pal from Iraq. She signed up for this program where it assigns one person to a soldier of the opposite sex around the same age. Her guy's name is Alex, he sounds so awsome. She's sent him a bunch of letters, and a few boxes of things. I really hope that they meet, and maybe afterward become good friends... or more ^.~ I really do hope so, Jessica deserves a good man. (She's so going to kill me if she reads this... Hmm.. To bad her computer isn't hooked up cause shes moving.. Muah!)

'There's reason for looking up when I'm feeling down...'

Ciao <3