25 days of Christmas has begun today. Another year is almost over. That's slightly frightening.

Today we had a snow day, although it was more of an ice day. I'm glad we did because I really didn't want to go today. After my near break down yesterday, I wasn't sure if I could have faced people. Ellie and Olivia came by yesterday to see how I was doing. I don't know why, but I felt slightly annoyed. It's not as though they did anything to upset me, but I just wanted someone to blame everything on. Everything is catching up to me again, it seems to be like this every year. I keep telling myself that I can get through it, and I'm making way too big of a deal out of it all. I know that. I've realized that. But, sometimes everything gets too hard to deal with all at once. I've turned into a person that can only take so much, and I'm near an overload. That just can't be a good sign.

I don't even have a best friend. :[ Or at least not anymore if there ever had been that time. I bet I screwed that up too. Maybe I'm just not "best friend" material. Just backround friend only.

So I still haven't found a job. Even Felpaush won't hire me. Maybe I'm filling out the applications wrong. Or I've been putting the wrong phone number everytime. I told my mom I was about ready to turn to prostitution. Not that anyone would want me anyway, but it was just a thought.

I have a feeling Christmas is going to be pretty pointless this year. I know it's not about the presents and gifts, but I would like to get SOME things. I guess I shouldn't complain, if I can't afford to buy people gifts, then why should they get me something. I was looking forward to it, but not so much now.

Break is soon. Can't wait.

{Jaa Mata}

Gackt-- Last Song
Atemonaku hitori samayoi arukitsuzuketa
Kasuka na toiki o tada shiroku somete
Utsuri kawari yuku kisetsu no sono hakanasa ni
Wake mo naku namida ga koboreta
'Ima mo aishite iru...'

Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro na yuki ni kawaru
Zutto sora o miageteta
Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete

Wakari aenakute nandomo kizutsuketeita
Sonna toki demo itsumo yasashikute
Fui ni watasareta yubiwa ni kizamareteita
Futari no yakusoku wa kanawanai mama ni
'Ima mo oboeteiru...'

Toozakaru omoide wa itsumademo mabushi sugite
Motto soba ni itakatta
Mou nido to aenai kedo itsumo soba de sasaete kureta
Anata dake wa kawaranai de ite
Saigo ni miseta namida ga kisenakute

Kono shiroi yukitachi to issho ni kiete shimattemo
Anata no kokoro no naka ni zutto saite itai kara

Yorisotte dakiatta nukumori wa wasurenaide ne
Chigau dareka o aishitemo
Saigo ni kiita anata no koe o kono mama zutto hanasanai mama
Fukaku nemuri ni ochitai

Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro na yuki ni kawaru
Zutto sora o miageteta
Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete
'Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete..'